Inked (Going All the Way #1) - Jenika Snow Page 0,25
she felt, they would respect her feelings for Cadeon and not kick his ass. But she was jumping the gun, because first they had to have this conversation.
“Come on, let’s sit down.” He turned and faced the living room. When he looked at her over his shoulder and pointed to the couch, she nodded.
She followed him, and when they were both seated side by side, there was a moment of silence.
“How about I start?”
“Okay.” She turned her body so they could stare at each other when they spoke and waited for him to say whatever it was he was going to say.
“I’ve never done this before.” He leaned back, placed an arm over the back of the couch, and spread his legs slightly so he took on this relaxed position.
“Done what? Have a conversation?” Stella was trying to go for a less weird vibe by teasing a little, because honestly she had never been in a situation like this either, but Cadeon didn’t even crack a smile. “I’ve never had to talk about something like this either.”
He didn’t respond for several seconds, and she shifted on the couch as the awkwardness intensified. Should she say something else or wait?
“You know what your dad and the Vicious Bastards would do to me if they knew I fucked you?” He said that sentence with absolutely no emotion, and her mouth dried and her throat suddenly started to swell shut. “I’ll tell you what they’d do.” Again, a moment of silence, and she wondered if he was going for some kind of shock value or if he actually wanted her to answer. “They’d beat the living shit out of me, and when they stopped for a second to allow me to catch my breath, they would bring out the crowbars and chains.” He stared her right in the eye.
“I have grown up with those men, and yes, they are dangerous and can live up to their club’s name, but I also know they want me to be happy.” Her father’s MC wasn’t just called the Vicious Bastards because it sounded intimidating, but because they were exactly that. She might never have been in the thick of the violence, because her father had made sure to always keep her away, protected and ignorant, but she knew.
She had seen them come back to the clubhouse many times over, some with gunshot wounds, others with busted faces. She had even seen them carrying a fallen member. But she never asked what happened, never pried into “club business.”
“Yeah, they want you to be happy, Stella, but I’m just some asshole who took something that I shouldn’t have. That doesn’t go over very well with them.”
She shook her head. “I’m an adult, Cadeon. This is my life, and they know that.” Would her dad be mad? Most likely. But the other guys, even though they were like her family, would listen to her and how she felt far more effectively than her dad would.
He smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. “Stella, baby, you are the daughter of the club president. No matter how old you are, Scars will see you as his little girl. I want you, but the last thing I want to do is show disrespect. We had sex, incredible sex, but still, I knew better than to go there with you.”
She shook her head, but she didn’t know what she was shaking it to. No, that was a lie; she knew. In her heart, she just had the feeling that Cadeon was going to tell her that she was good enough to fuck but not good enough for more. Damn the tightening in her chest at that thought. “If you’re going to say it, then just say it.” She found this almost violent strength inside her, and her voice rose from her anger. “I am sick of guys being pussies because of who I’m associated with.” She would not cry, but rage-filled tears threatened to spill.
Cadeon leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. He kept direct eye contact with her. “You know what the truth is, Stella? If the MC doesn’t approve of who you want, you know that guy is as good as broken.”
She didn’t say anything, couldn’t. What Stella did wish he would do was get on with it.
“But my reputation is just as shady as the Vicious Bastards’. I’ve done bad stuff, things that could have put me away for a very long time if I was ever caught—”
“Just say it,