Incipient A Dark Paranormal Romance - Bianca Scardoni Page 0,29
wanted to come up to the surface. Emotions I’d buried and left for dead. And I wasn’t entirely sure I had enough strength in me to keep the wall up. To keep my feelings at bay.
“Was it just a game?” he repeated, his voice lower now, softer, his eyes desperate for a connection.
I wanted so much to answer him honestly—to tell him the truth about everything. But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let us go down that rabbit hole...not without knowing what was waiting on the other side for us.
“It was just a game. I’m sorry if you thought it was something more than that,” I said and then watched in agony as a river of hurt flooded his expression before disappearing behind a newly fitted blank mask.
Whatever connection had been coiling between us had just been snapped shut in my face.
“Alright, Jemma,” he said, the words flitting out of his lips like the wings of a dying butterfly. “Whatever you say,” he said as he backed away and then walked out of the room, not even bothering to grab his shirt on the way out.
The room instantly felt colder and darker without him.
Dropping my head in shame, I quietly debated whether to stay or leave his house. It didn’t feel right being in his space after what just happened, but something told me that Trace probably wouldn’t let me leave anyway, regardless of whether or not I’d just shut him down, and I really didn’t have another fight left in me. Instead, I pulled on a camisole and pair of shorts from my bag, flicked off the lamp and then climbed into his bed, feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
It didn’t matter how many times I told myself that it was for his own good. That I was protecting him from something that could potentially rip apart the protective walls around his mind. The look of disappointment and hurt in his eyes had been seared into my mind, and it was the only thing I could see until I finally fell asleep.
11. IF WE WERE MADE OF WATER
Trace was already dressed and sitting at the kitchen island by the time I made it downstairs the next morning. I wasn’t even sure if he’d bothered to come back to bed last night or if he’d decided to sleep elsewhere. I imagined he probably didn’t want to be anywhere near me and ended up sleeping on the couch or in the guestroom.
Leave it to me to make him uncomfortable in his own house. I really needed to come up with alternative living arrangements for myself, and quickly.
I was just about to back out of the kitchen and leave him in peace when his voice drifted across the kitchen.
“You should eat something before school,” he said quietly as he motioned to a plate sitting at the end of the island.
My gaze darted to the breakfast sandwich and sliced fruit and then back to him as he took a sip of his coffee while flipping through something on his phone.
“I thought everything went bad?” I asked pointlessly, still hovering by the entryway in full awkward mode.
“It did,” he said, still not looking at me. When I didn’t move, he glanced up from his phone and met my eyes, his gaze a barren desert. “I picked up breakfast,” he said slowly, as though I were a moron for not figuring that out on my own.
Oouf. This was going to be a long morning.
“Right. Obviously,” I said and gingerly made my way over to the plate. My stomach grumbled as I picked up my fork and stabbed at a piece of strawberry. “Thank you for this. I’m starving.” Chewing quietly, my gaze skirted across the island to him as I watched him entertain himself with whatever he was looking at on his phone.
The horrible awkwardness of last night had definitely followed us into the morning. At least it did for me. Deciding we needed to clear the air before it ruined our entire day, I set my fork down and cleared my throat.
His gaze flicked up to mine.
“I’m sorry about last night.” The words fell out of me like a block of concrete. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
He stared at me for a long beat and then tossed his phone on the island. Folding his arms across his chest, he sat back against the barstool and studied me. “What are you apologizing for?”