Incense and Sensibility (The Rajes #3) - Sonali Dev Page 0,90
finish up the season. Then find someone who can replace you. Do this responsibly.”
“I can’t. I told you I can’t be separated from Song for even a day. Nothing else matters.” There was fire in China’s eyes. She was consumed by her feelings. “I wish you knew how I feel. This beautiful painful joy. This desperate need for someone. I’d give up my career twenty times for it. I’d give up everything. You’ll never understand. It’s not who you are. You have no idea how lucky you are that you don’t feel things this way.”
India’s laugh felt bitter in her mouth. On the TV behind China, the news played on mute, showing the clip of Yash speaking to reporters, again. She was lucky indeed. So lucky that there was no respite from his smiling face and tortured eyes that sought her out relentlessly. She kept turning the TV off, then turning it back on because at least that much of him she could have.
He’d been resplendent in the debate. Brilliant with facts, decent in the face of his opponent’s attacks, fiercely empathetic, fearlessly vulnerable with showing his heart and purpose.
Why had she watched? How could she not have?
China turned around and followed her eyes to the TV. “I can’t believe Yash is going to be our governor. Can you believe it? Someone I’ve known almost all my life. He looks good, doesn’t he? Not the way he looked when he was hanging around here all the time.”
“It was three days.”
China cocked her head at her.
“He wasn’t here all the time.” Just three days.
“And that’s all it took for you to set him straight. You’re a genius. If you weren’t so laid-back, you’d be a millionaire.”
India laughed again. “So I’m not just a feelingless robot, I’m also unmotivated and lazy.” She got up and went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Mom insisted on working in the incense workshop, even though the medication made her nauseated and weak. She needed to eat something. Maybe some avocado cocoa cookies with tea.
“India!” China followed her. “That’s not what I said and you know it.”
“You’re right. I do know that’s not what you said.” But it’s what she had meant.
China took her hands this time. “Are you really angry with me? You know I admire you more than anyone else. You’re my role model. I wish I could be as solid, as dependable as you, no matter how bad the storm. That’s what I meant. Please don’t be angry with me. I can’t have you be angry with me right now.”
“I’m not angry with you. I could never be angry with you. I just want you to be careful. Please. I can’t watch you get hurt.” China might think India didn’t feel as much as she did, but India knew that China could not survive what this felt like. Not being able to have the one person who was created for you. Knowing that with every fiber of your being and not having it.
“I won’t. Song loves me. She’s waiting to be able to show that to the world. She’s just figuring out how to do it.” She slipped her hands around India and India held her tight.
“What are you planning to do when you get there?”
“Maybe I’ll find a job in Seoul. They have a huge TV industry. I shouldn’t have trouble finding a job there, right?”
“Anyone would be lucky to hire you. Only a brainless person wouldn’t see that as soon as they meet you.”
China laughed in her arms and the world felt bearable again.
On the television screen Yash was back, his hand in his girlfriend’s as she gazed at him adoringly. India squeezed her sister tighter.
“Hey, don’t worry so much. I’m going to be fine.” China pulled away and peered at India’s face. “India? I’m going to be okay. Don’t be like this.”
India nodded. “I know,” she said, every breath burning her lungs. “I know.” She could do nothing to help herself, but China had a chance at happiness, and she’d be damned if she didn’t put all her faith behind it.
Chapter Nineteen
Yash had hoped for a quiet visit with his grandmother and Esha. Even so, he should not have been surprised by the fact that his parents, Nisha, and Ashna were parked on the white couch in the living room of Aji and Esha’s suite, his grandmother’s tea service on a trolley between them.
Their cheerful conversation dropped into silence as Yash emerged from the wide ornate staircase. He