Inappropriate - Vi Keeland Page 0,95
like I said, I was curious about you. And Lily is still my patient. She’s made great progress over the years, but I often learn things from family members that help me in treatment. When she was first admitted, she signed a release that all of her medical information could be discussed with you. Every year we go over her permissions on file. It’s been seven years, and she still hasn’t withdrawn permission for me to discuss her health with you. So I’m legally free to discuss her case. I thought it also might be helpful for me to understand why it was you were here to see her today.”
“When she was first admitted? She wasn’t admitted to the hospital, Doc. She was sentenced—to twenty-five damn years. And you people keep her here to do easy time. She deserves to be locked in a cell, just like all the other murderers.”
“I see. Did you come today to speak to her?”
I cleared my throat. My mouth was so damn dry. “No. I have no desire to see her. Or help her. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking last night, or this morning—whenever I showed up. But it was a mistake.”
Dr. Booth examined my face and nodded. “I understand. But perhaps you and I could still talk.” He stood. “How do you take your coffee? Let me at least give you some caffeine and Tylenol. It looks like you could use both.”
The thought of standing made me feel nauseous, much less jumping in a cab and taking the hour-and-a-half ride back home. I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah. Alright. I could use some coffee before I get out of here. Black, please.”
The doc disappeared and came back a few minutes later with two Styrofoam cups and a small packet of Tylenol.
“Thank you.”
He took a seat across from me and stayed quiet, watching me.
“I don’t normally do this. Haven’t tied one on like that since college.”
Dr. Booth nodded. “Did something happen that set you off? Drinking and showing up here, I mean?”
“Nothing that has to do with Lily.” Or everything that has to do with my ex-wife.
“We can talk about whatever you like. It doesn’t have to be about Lily.”
I scoffed. “No, but I’m sure you’d psychoanalyze anything I say to relate it back to her. Isn’t that what shrinks do? Find a cause for everything that happens so there’s someone or something to blame other than their patient? A man murders another man while robbing him—his father molested him, so it’s his father’s fault. Not the crack he smoked an hour before because he’s an addict. A woman kills her own child—she shouldn’t be blamed because she’s depressed. We’re all fucking depressed at some point in our lives, Doc.”
The doc sipped his coffee. “I wasn’t planning on psychoanalyzing you. I figured if you were here, you could use someone to talk to. I’m not your doctor, but I’m a man, and you’re a fellow man who seems in need. That’s all.”
Well, now I felt like shit. I raked a hand through my hair. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Trust me, I don’t get offended easily. Hazard of the career. Most people who show up at my door aren’t there because they want to be. Either the court or their family forced their hand. It’s not uncommon for me to be told to fuck off because I’m an asshole in the first fifteen minutes of a session.”
I smiled. “I’m usually good at holding my tongue for the first half hour of a meeting.”
Dr. Booth smiled back. “May I ask you a personal question?”
I shrugged. “Go for it. It doesn’t mean I have to answer.”
He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. Are you married?”
“No.”
“In a relationship?”
I thought of Ireland. I was. Or am I? I don’t fucking know. “I’ve been seeing someone, yes.”
“Are you happy?”
Another loaded question I couldn’t answer easily. “It’s hard to be happy when you’ve lost a child. But, yeah…Ireland makes me happy.” I shook my head. “For the first time in seven damn years.”
Doc was quiet for a long time again. “Is it possible you came today because you want forgiveness so you can move on?”
I felt the veins in my neck pulse with anger. “Lily doesn’t deserve forgiveness.”
Dr. Booth caught my eyes. “I wasn’t referring to Lily. Forgiveness is something you have to find within yourself. No one can give that to you. Yes, I believe your ex-wife suffers from bipolar disorder that caused her behavior to