“As in a person I’m dating,” said Annie, cheeks still burning. The taste of char grew stronger at the back of my throat. “It’s been a weird few years while you’ve been off recovering. I’m really glad you’re back.”
“This is so weird,” I said.
“Hey, Alex is the one who’s having a baby,” objected Annie. “I think I’m still in the normal band for the youngest sibling.”
Elsie’s phone buzzed. She checked the screen. A sudden burst of smug satisfaction radiated off of her. “I hate to cut this short—”
“I don’t,” muttered Annie.
“—but I’m afraid I’m going to have to. Sarah, you might want to wipe the butter off your cheek. It’s red. That’s disgusting. It looks like bloody snot.”
I frowned at her, perplexed.
The warehouse door banged open. The quality of the air changed, going from the soft hum created by my proximity to Annie and Elsie—two people I’d known for years but had never been particularly physical with—to something louder and more electric, like sparks racing along my skin. I lowered my popcorn, frown becoming an open-mouthed stare.
“You didn’t,” I accused.
Elsie shrugged, reaching over to rub her thumb in a quick arc across my cheek, presumably wiping away the smear of butter. “I did,” she said. “I know you. You were going to put it off and put it off and maybe fly back to Ohio without ever telling him you were here. You don’t get to be afraid anymore, Sarah-baby. You scared us too much for that. Now stop fucking around and go tell my brother that you’re back.”
I shook my head, fighting the urge to pull a psychic blanket over me like a shield. Annie and Elsie wouldn’t lose sight of me if I did that—they were sitting too close, they could see me too clearly—but they weren’t the ones I was trying to hide from. “I’m not ready. You shouldn’t have done this. I’m not . . . I don’t know that I’m better. I’m not ready.”
“Sarah?”
Artie’s voice came from somewhere back by the front door, pitched loud enough to reach us without becoming an echoing smear in the aural landscape. He sounded . . . he sounded scared, almost, as scared as I felt. He sounded hopeful, too, and resigned, like he knew, somewhere deep down, that this was a cruel joke. It didn’t matter that his sister had never been the kind to play this sort of prank; it was easier to believe that she had turned suddenly brutally thoughtless than it was to let himself think she was telling the truth.
I’d been broken, but Artie . . . I’d left Artie alone. I closed my eyes, letting my chin drop toward my chest, and reached for his thoughts.
They were a whirling maelstrom of fear and hope and anger and blame, almost all of it directed squarely at himself. He shouldn’t have let me go to New York with Verity; he knew I’d gone because I wanted to challenge myself, and he hadn’t been willing to do more things that would be challenging, hadn’t wanted to stray outside the comforts of his familiar basement, where he never needed to worry about running into people who might be affected by his pheromones. He was worried he’d driven me away, and terrified that even if Elsie wasn’t playing a nasty trick for some reason, that I hadn’t called him myself because I didn’t actually want to see him. He thought I was done with him. Artie. The person I would call my best friend without a moment’s hesitation, thought I was done with him.
Artie, come on, you know better, I thought.
His response was silent joy and silent sorrow, both blended together. The connection intensified, drawing me deeper whether I wanted to go or not. I could suddenly see again, despite my closed eyes: I was looking at the back of the bleachers, at the shape of three women barely visible through the slats between the rows. He couldn’t quite see us well enough to tell us apart, but he knew we were there.
And I could see through his eyes. I could still slide myself into his thoughts as easily as sliding a book back onto a shelf, because the connection between us wasn’t broken. Maybe it was a little less stable than it had been before and maybe it wasn’t. I couldn’t tell, and it didn’t matter. I was here now. We were here now. I opened my eyes and stood. Elsie and Annie exchanged a