If I Tell - By Janet Gurtler Page 0,25

even trying to pretend he wasn’t eavesdropping. She flicked her hand in the air, waving him away, and he slowly moved along. She clenched her jaws, her resolve hardening like an old man’s arteries.

“I can’t change what happened or who your father is. I thought we’d dealt with it.”

I snorted. “You thought we’d dealt with it? I’m the one with the father who bought me off with a deposit in a bank account. You had the best father in the world, and you didn’t even tell him. Grandpa Joe would have done anything for you. He did do anything. He became a father to your own child.”

“Hey, ladies, sorry I’m late.”

It figured Simon would pick that moment to swoop up to the table. He looked back and forth at us, his big charming smile fading a little. “Did I miss something?”

“A condom?” I said.

His lips turned down. His eyes had bags under them. Maybe I wasn’t the only one at the table suffering from a hangover.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you actually didn’t like me anymore, Jaz.” He smiled, but it wasn’t sincere. “But you’re a teenager, so I’ll pretend you do. You look nice. Cute dress. I like that color on you.”

His condescending smile made me sick. I’d only worn the dress to try to please Grandma. I hated it. More now. Simon looked hipper than me in his T-shirt and jeans. A couple of teenage girls at the table next to us actually ogled him.

Simon completely ignored the obvious tension at our table. He joked and touched Mom a few times as he babbled. I stared through him, hating his handsome face, hating his gift of gab. Hating the way he played her. I knew that he’d already done something to hurt her. With Lacey. I just didn’t know how far they’d gone.

“God. I wish I could have a drink,” Mom said when he finally paused for a breath.

“Go ahead,” I snapped. “It’s not like you’re getting nominated for a Mother of the Year award.”

In the background people talked and cutlery clinked. The silence at our table was louder.

“Hey,” Simon said. “Your mom wouldn’t drink in her condition. She’s going to be a great mom. She already is.” He reached out and stroked her hand.

I wanted to barf.

“How do you know?” Mom asked and pulled away. “I didn’t even raise her.” She pointed at me. “She doesn’t even like me.”

I stared down at the table and forced myself not to apologize or reassure her. I loved her, but right then I didn’t care. Why should I be the only one who hurt?

“That was different,” Simon said. “You were very young. And you’ve always been there for Jaz. You have a great relationship.” I glanced up. He shot a look at me that made my insides wince, but I didn’t flinch.

“Appreciate that you still have your mom around to talk to, Jaz. I miss my mom every single day.”

Mom sniffled. Simon opened his eyes wider, trying to send me a message, but I ignored him. I was sorry his mom had died, but that had nothing to do with my situation.

The waiter stepped into our space. Must be a slow night because he seemed to be enjoying the show. Simon ordered a beer, and the waiter went to get it.

“Hair of the dog?” I asked politely.

“What? The beer? Nah. I’m too old to get drunk anymore.” He sheepishly glanced at Mom. “Well, maybe once in a while, like the night I found out I was becoming a dad.”

Yeah. I’d seen him drunk, his lips all over my best friend.

“Anyways. I heard you were the one having a good time last night.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Nathan your new boyfriend?”

“No. He is not.” I willed him to shut his mouth.

He grinned. “Damien said Nathan had his arm around you at a party, that’s all.” He winked. “Oh, and there might have been some kissing.”

I almost passed out with embarrassment.

“Really?” Mom asked, finally looking interested in something other than her own misery. “Is that true?” She sat up and her grumpy expression softened.

I narrowed my eyes. The last thing I wanted to talk about was Nathan. “Tell Damien to mind his own business. Just because he’s your brother doesn’t mean he gets to spy on me.”

Simon held up his hands. “Hey. Sorry, kid. I was just having some fun with you.”

“Nathan’s that skinny kid who lives with Lacey? Isn’t he a little old for you? He doesn’t seem like