If for Any Reason (Nantucket Love Story #1) - Courtney Walsh Page 0,51

going to take up most of my summer.”

“Well, thank goodness,” Gladys said. “That house has become such an eyesore—you don’t know how many times I’ve—” She shook her head. “Oh, never mind. I don’t know what to tell you, Miss Ackerman. We see this as the only option. If you want to have a children’s production, you’re going to have to be the director.” Gladys straightened. “And if you can’t make a go of it, then you agree to allow us to spend your grandparents’ donations however we see fit.”

Emily looked away. This was a terrible plan. She’d never worked with kids. Plus, her one attempt at directing had been a colossal, money-sucking disaster. She’d accepted the fact that she wasn’t a teacher—she was a performer. An actor. A pretender. But pretending to know how to direct a show with children? That was a stretch.

And yet, she liked kids. She thought about Jolie and what this could mean for her—and Hollis. It could give them much-needed time together, maybe even mend something that had clearly broken between them.

But she wasn’t in Nantucket to mend anything. She was here to do what it took to get her second chance—and then get off this dreaded island as quickly as possible.

“Think about it, Miss Ackerman, and let me know your answer by Monday.”

“That’s two days,” Emily said.

Gladys raised a brow. “We could always leave things as they are and revisit this next summer, assuming your grandfather’s estate will still be contributing to the arts center.”

Again, Emily thought of Jolie. She might not be here to mend anything, but if she could help, shouldn’t she?

“When you find something worth fighting for, fight.”

The advice challenged her. Dared her to walk away. But hadn’t her mother been talking about something else—equality, justice, something noteworthy?

Surely she hadn’t meant a children’s theatre. Who fought for a children’s theatre?

But what if fighting for it led to another kid’s life being changed, the same way hers had been?

As soon as the thought entered her mind, another one bulldozed over it. What if I fail again?

She wanted to groan. There was no good answer. She wasn’t a teacher. She wasn’t even the kind of person most parents would want leading their kids—she was a mess.

“Well?” Gladys’s tone radiated impatience.

“I’ll think about it,” Emily said.

“Very good.” Gladys walked across the street, slowly making her way over the uneven cobblestones in her sensible shoes that were probably “good for arthritis.”

What would her mother say to all of this if she were here to weigh in on the subject?

Emily didn’t have to wonder—she might not have spoken to her mother in eighteen years, but the letters had given her plenty of insight into the kind of person her mom was. Words on paper, frozen in time, gave her a clear snapshot of Isabelle Ackerman, and it was her influence that had turned Emily into the adventure seeker that she was. She lived the life she thought her mother would’ve wanted for her, the life her mother never got to live.

She’d never paused to wonder what happened if that life suddenly stopped being one she wanted.

To Gladys’s proposal, Isabelle would likely say, “Do it, Emily. You’ll be wonderful at it, and even if you aren’t, you’ll have a wild adventure introducing all those kids to the theatre. I can’t think of anyone better to teach them—you’re so passionate about it.”

Emily would argue that she wasn’t good with large groups, didn’t know the best way to entertain small children, and had too much to do to really give a show her all.

“But what would make your heart happy?” her mother would ask.

Then, sadly, Emily would retreat, because she couldn’t remember the last time her heart had been happy.

And that wasn’t the kind of thing she could talk about out loud.

For when you feel overwhelmed

Dear Emily,

It’s no secret I wasn’t prepared to be a mother at the age of eighteen. I actually wonder if anyone is ever prepared to be a mother, but I know for certain I was not ready. There was so much I didn’t know. There was so much to learn, and sadly, you didn’t come with an instruction booklet.

I made a lot of mistakes. One day I was getting ready to leave the house, and as if by magic, your car seat fell off the counter with you strapped in it, landing you upside down (and screaming!) on the kitchen floor.

To this day I have no idea how that happened, only that I