If for Any Reason (Nantucket Love Story #1) - Courtney Walsh Page 0,130

with Jack could be rekindled.

Her mother was choosing love.

Emily blinked back fresh tears. If only she’d gotten the chance. If only Jack had gotten the chance. For the briefest moment, she lost sight of her own pain and felt very deeply the pain her parents must’ve felt having realized the time they’d lost. She felt Jack’s pain when he discovered Isabelle was gone, that he would never be able to make things right with her.

Hollis had asked what Emily wanted—not what her mom had wanted or what her grandmother wanted, but what she wanted. And she hadn’t been able to answer because the truth was, what she wanted conflicted with what she thought she should want.

She wanted to feel the same way she’d felt all those years ago before her mom had died, like she belonged to somebody. But giving yourself to somebody else was a giant risk, and Emily wasn’t sure she could take it.

Pain squeezed her from the inside. But she already had taken it, hadn’t she? With Hollis, with Jolie, with every single kid who was a part of the show she was directing?

Emily loved those people—they gave her a sense of purpose. Instead of only living for herself and her so-called dreams, she was discovering that she could play an active part in other people’s lives, and she’d never felt that way before.

She’d never felt so fulfilled.

She remembered the way it felt to hug Marta at auditions and tell her she could do this. The way it felt to watch Alyssa and Jolie giggling together, possible friends for life. The way it felt when the kids listened to her advice and became stronger performers because of it. The way it felt to know that she helped create a safe place for them to stretch their creative wings, to find friends, to do things they maybe didn’t believe they could do.

But it was a mirage. A fairy tale. And now she was eleven years old all over again, pulling away from Nantucket with nothing.

She’d lost it all.

She reached inside her bag and took out the envelope Jolie had given her.

Against her better judgment, she opened it and unfolded the sheet of paper inside.

Emily,

You just left me standing on the beach, but I already know you’re leaving. I said a lot of things I regret, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve to feel like I wasn’t on your side. The truth is, Jack and I aren’t so different—you were right. And I hate to think that you see in me the same things you see in him, things that have hurt you for so many years.

I guess I just want you to know that I love you, and I never wanted to hurt you. Actually, I’ve only ever wanted to protect you from getting hurt, so this is hard—seeing the pain in your eyes was hard.

I want you to do what you need to do, but I also want you to know that I’m here. I couldn’t move on at this point if I tried.

Whatever you need—I’ll give it to you. I’ll leave you alone. I’ll get in your business. I’ll listen to you and wipe your tears when you cry. I want to help you figure all of this out if you’ll let me.

Nobody’s ever challenged me the way you do or made me feel the way you do. After I lost baseball, I thought I’d lost everything. But this summer made me realize there is so much more in life—you and Jolie and building a home.

Because yeah, I’ve turned into a sappy loser, and it’s all your fault.

I’m here, Emily. Always.

I love you.

Hollis

She stared at his name for several seconds, then reread the words he’d written. It was a rare peek inside what he was really thinking, words he most likely would’ve never said aloud.

She ran her finger over his handwritten I love you, her heart conflicted at the words.

He could love her, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt her.

She folded the letter up and tucked it inside her purse, replaying the words she’d said to him the last time they’d spoken.

Her words were mean and full of anger, and he’d written these kind things immediately after she’d treated him so poorly?

She didn’t deserve his kindness. She didn’t deserve his love.

But he was giving it to her. Freely. No strings. Like a gentleman, he said he’d give her what she needed, whether it was a shoulder to cry on or space, with no thought to