If for Any Reason (Nantucket Love Story #1) - Courtney Walsh Page 0,128
for good.
She told herself those things, but they didn’t help. Everything inside her ached for the life she’d almost had here on the island. It ached for Marisol and Nan and the other volunteers. For the kids she’d taught and grown to love. She’d wanted to stay in their lives. She ached for Hollis and his promise of simplicity.
She ached to belong.
And she was angry that she’d let herself believe that she did.
Of course she didn’t belong here. Why would she delude herself into thinking she did? She’d lost sight of her original plan—get in, renovate the house, and get out.
If she’d just stayed on task, if she hadn’t let herself get pulled into Hollis’s world, if she hadn’t let Nan’s kindness or Jolie’s sweetness convince her she was a part of their family, everything would be fine right now.
As much as she wanted to blame Hollis for that, it was her own fault. It was as if she kept searching for the same thing in the wrong places and always she ended up with a broken heart.
This pain was much deeper than a failed play or a restless spirit, and it was about more than discovering what she had about her father, about her mother, about her grandparents.
Truth be told, she was most devastated to lose Hollis all over again.
She quietly swiped a tear as it slid down her cheek. As she did, she felt a tug on her arm.
“Emily?”
She turned and found Jolie standing behind her, suddenly mortified that she’d left the girl without so much as a good-bye. How selfish had she been? Jolie had done nothing wrong, and yet the thought of losing her was too much for Emily to process.
And so she’d left.
She’d run.
The realization nearly crushed her. Maybe Hollis was right.
Emily forced a smile. “Hey, JoJo.”
“Are you leaving?”
She drew in a deep breath. “I am.”
“What about the show? It’s so soon.”
I’m the worst. I can’t do hard things. I don’t deserve any of this. I need to get out of here.
“I spoke with Marisol. She’s going to get you guys through the last few rehearsals. You’re ready, though—more than ready. You guys are going to be amazing.”
“But you’re not going to be there to see it?”
Emily looked away, and the line started to move toward the ferry. “I don’t think I will be, JoJo. I’m sorry.”
“Is this about my dad?”
Jolie had been worried about this exact thing happening. Emily couldn’t make Hollis out to be the bad guy, not when there were so many other things that had led her to make this choice.
“No. Not really, anyway.” Emily tried to find words. “I mean, there’s a lot going on right now.”
The girl’s face fell. “No one ever tells me the truth. Everyone thinks I’m too young.”
Emily knew how that felt. “Some things are just hard to explain.”
“I knew he would ruin it. Because of him you’re leaving, and the show won’t be as good without you.”
“That’s not true.”
“But I won’t see you again,” the girl said, her eyes filling with tears.
Emily stepped out of line and pulled Jolie into a hug. “That’s not true either. Plus, you have my number, so you can text me anytime.”
Jolie’s arms were wrapped tightly around Emily’s waist. “It’s not the same.”
“We’ll stay in touch, I promise.” But even as she said the words, she wondered how it would be possible. How could she keep anyone in her life without being reminded of what she’d lost?
Jolie stepped away and looked at Emily. “Do you love my dad?”
Emily was surprised by her forwardness, though she wasn’t sure why. Jolie had never been one to beat around the bush. “I might.”
“Then how can you leave?”
“It’s complicated, JoJo.”
“He said that too. But I think he loves you, and he doesn’t want you to go.”
“No,” Emily said. “I’m pretty sure after the things I said to him, he probably can’t wait to get rid of me.”
Jolie reached into her small backpack and removed a white envelope. “He doesn’t know I took this. I don’t think he was planning to send it or anything, but I thought you should have it.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see.” Jolie took a step back, and Emily realized the rest of the line had boarded the ferry.
“I should go,” she said.
Jolie threw her arms around Emily again and squeezed—hard. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, JoJo.” The lump in her throat almost made speaking impossible.
Emily pulled away, then headed up the ramp. When she reached the top, she turned and