I Pucking Love You (The Copper Valley Thrusters #5) - Pippa Grant Page 0,59

rags don’t hear about this.

Daisy: Go easy on Tyler. It’s hard (heh) to be a guy with a broken penis and then realize the only person he can get it up for is the only person he not only fails to impress every time, but also actively pushes away every time.

Keely: Fear of commitment.

Allie: Well, duh. He takes us for granted and he knows it.

Brit: Any other woman definitely wouldn’t put up with him the way we do.

Staci: And they don’t have to love him like we do, and they definitely won’t love him when he gets old and retires from hockey and has a monumental identity crisis.

Dad: He has redeeming qualities. Like his beard. He gets that from me.

Daisy: Also, he has to compete with West, who’s basically perfect, and he has nothing going for him other than his hockey career, if he can manage to stay pro and not get demoted back to the minors.

Muffy rustles next to me.

I cut a glance toward her and see her pulling a pack of Oreos out of her purse. She starts to open them, notices me watching, and shoves them back in her purse.

My jaw clenches on its own, and my grip tightens on the steering wheel.

Is it any of my business if she’s self-conscious?

No.

But do I want to fix it anyway?

Yes.

That’s not normal.

I have a problem.

And it’s bigger than my boner.

21

Muffy

I’m trying very hard to not look at Tyler’s erection and instead concentrate on what I need to do when we get back to Copper Valley.

Namely, shower quickly and manage my time very well for two appointments I have back-to-back early this evening that I booked myself as we’re heading out of Richmond.

The funeral’s over. Time to think ahead. Get back to business. Make a few more matches. Get a few more referrals. Set reminders to check in on Veda every day this week, and schedule lunch with her one weekend soon.

Find out why my mother thought she needed to charge my credit card for her boudoir photo session, thus maxing it out, and figure out how I’m going to pay Tyler back for gas money and the hotel bill.

Ponder why Tyler would’ve made a joke about his penis not working if it’s clearly working fine.

Although, is that actually his penis? That’s a long erection.

Long-lasting, I mean. But yes, also long-long. Lengthwise.

Is it hot in here? Someone needs to turn the heater down.

Like he’s reading my mind, he reaches for the control and yanks it down. “Why don’t you date?”

I flinch. I hate when the tables are turned. “Trust issues.”

“That’s a reason to not get married. Not a reason not to date.”

“I get to have whatever reason I want to not date.”

“I dare you to go on a date with me.”

“Been there—”

“Nope. Nuh-uh. Not hooking up at a bar where we ran into each other. Not being tricked into going to a funeral together. Not having breakfast with my brother and his family. A date-date. You and me. Alone. On purpose. Saturday night.”

If Tyler’s anything like his teammates, he’ll take me out to a fancy restaurant where I could pronounce things on the menu even though no one would expect me to be able to, and I’d still probably break a bunch of unspoken rules, like laughing too loudly at a joke that isn’t funny, or putting my elbows on the table, or accidentally mistaking the tablecloth for a napkin when I don’t look clearly as I reach for my lap and standing up and pulling everything off the table when I need a bathroom break, or turning down wine when it’s expected that everyone who goes into the restaurant pays for hundred-dollar bottles that you can get for thirteen at the liquor store.

And while it’s nice to think about being pampered with a treat like that, I can never enjoy my meal knowing what a dent the final bill would make in my student loans.

Not that I expect a date to offer me peanut butter and jelly and a check for my monthly loan payment instead, but I’m still aware of it.

And then there’s the kissing problem.

Kissing leads to touching, touching leads to clothes coming off, and the truth is, no matter how many hours of therapy I’ve had, I still hate the idea of being completely and totally naked in front of a guy.

I went through with having sex with Tyler in the walk-in fridge at the bunny bar because the lights were off and the flashlight on