I Pucking Love You (The Copper Valley Thrusters #5) - Pippa Grant Page 0,12

me, the back of her head reflected in the mirror over the mantle, also bouncing, and I swear her ponytail is frowning at me too. “You’re going back to Blackwell.”

The name of my medical school makes me cringe, but I push on. “Veda asked me. She has this…ceremony thing…and she asked me to be there to support her. I owe her everything.” I know. I know. A funeral isn’t a ceremony thing, but if I tell Nick I need him to be my fake date to a funeral, he won’t go.

This is even worse than asking someone to be a fake date to a wedding.

At least at a wedding, you get cake and it’s okay to gossip about other people’s drama, which is why I’m willing to help clients find maybe not the perfect guy, but a good enough guy to take to one. At a funeral, it’s like all hushed whispers and you can only say nice things. It’s a rule.

Plus, at a funeral, there are so many more tears, and it takes a special kind of date to pull off being there just for a funeral.

Maybe that’s the next step for Muff Matchers.

Maybe I branch out into temporary dates for funerals.

And maybe I’m utterly insane.

Kami glances toward the dining room. I can’t see Nick, so I don’t think she can either, but I’d guess he’s listening in, and she probably thinks so too. “A ceremony for Veda?”

“She’s being…honored…for her work with… You know what? I got tied up working with a client who has this huge list of little awards she’s won over the years this afternoon and I’m having a total brain fart. But the point is, Veda’s the reason I started Muff Matchers. She’s the only friend I have other than your friends who tolerate me because you’re awesome and they’d do anything for you—Maren and Alina say hi, by the way—and so I’ll do anything for Veda, including going back to Richmond and Blackwell just because she asked me to. But I really don’t want to go alone, so can you please talk Nick into going? Or maybe Nick and Duncan? Showing up with two hot hockey-playing bodyguard dates is way better than one.”

“Muffy. My friends do not tolerate you. They love you. You’re hilarious and fun and you tell it like you see it, except for right now, when I’m pretty sure you’re hiding something from me.”

The baby burps in agreement. Kami catches a bubble of spit-up before it lands on her clothes, which is a skill I don’t expect I’ll ever learn in my lifetime, even if I someday have a baby, which is also unlikely.

On the off-chance that I could find a guy I wanted to marry and have kids with, I’d still know where half that child’s DNA would come from, and cursing another human with my genes seems like a cruel and unusual thing to do to an innocent baby. “Can you please loan me your husband and a few of his friends for a day and a half for no reason other than that I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate?”

“Are you sure Veda would be okay with you stealing her spotlight by bringing a harem of hot dudes as your dates?”

“That’s a really good point. I should ask her. And I get what you’re saying. I shouldn’t accidentally set myself up to be the center of attention. I’d rather get sucked into a wormhole so I never have to go there again, and if I could go in a magic suit that makes me invisible, I would, but also, I can’t be Veda’s support if I’m having my own personal crisis without a human brown bag.”

“Human brown bag?”

“Someone to hyperventilate on when it’s all over.”

I frown.

I probably shouldn’t have said that part out loud. Nick’s surprised me with how good he can be with diapers and puke, which Kami did a lot of when she was pregnant—the puking, I mean, not the wearing of diapers, though I’ve gotta tell you, I wouldn’t have judged that either considering the number of times she had to pee every hour those last three months.

But back to Nick.

Puke and diapers? Yes.

Hyperventilating Muffys?

Probably not.

“Or maybe he can suggest someone else on the team to go? What about Duncan all by himself? He’s got his life together and he’s adorable with those curls and those eyes, and he’s not quite as well-known around the world as Nick after all of those pranks and presents