kettle to boil, she’d busied herself washing breakfast bowls and sweeping up crumbs. If anyone else had presumed to start cleaning her kitchen, Eleanor would have lost her shit, but with Karen she just felt grateful. Her friend helped without fanfare as she’d always done, ever the mother, looking after her friends in all the ways she was needed, sometimes without them even knowing.
‘Shall I pop this recycling out back?’ She had pointed at the last few days’ worth of plastics – everything that had accumulated since Lesley was last in.
‘Great, thanks, the back-door keys are on the sofa. Or the TV table maybe.’
Now Karen sat on the sofa with Noah snuggled into the crook of her arm.
‘He’s getting so big,’ she said, gesturing for her friend to sit down and relax.
Eleanor picked up her cup of coffee – black, no sugar, and as strong as a caffeine injection directly into her veins – and folded herself into the chair.
‘It’s all those bloody feeds he has.’ She smiled without complaint. ‘I feel like an all-you-can-eat buffet.’
Karen smiled briefly, then her face grew serious. ‘How are you doing? Honestly?’
‘Honestly? It’s hard,’ Eleanor admitted. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it’s rewarding and wonderful, et cetera, but it’s bloody tiring. Half the time I feel as though my senses have deserted me. I’m losing things, forgetting things … My keys went missing for a week, I got new ones cut, and do you know where I found them? In my underwear drawer. God only knows how they got in there. It’s enough to make you question your sanity.’
‘And Adam? Does he help?’
Eleanor sensed the change in her friend’s tone. Were they about to get to the reason she was here? It was unlike Karen to drop by midweek without a million texts arranging times and synchronising schedules. And without Bea. It wasn’t that Karen and Eleanor weren’t close, but it was rare for them to be missing their third; if anything, it was more usual for Bea and Eleanor to meet for a casual catch-up. Karen’s job kept her busy, and with Michael working away on the weekends, it was rare to see her in the week.
‘He’s just Adam, you know. He’ll do what I ask him to. It’s not like he’s lazy, but it’s almost as though he’s yet to notice our lives have changed. He just expects Noah to fit into our schedule and we’ll barely notice his arrival. And then there’s the fact that I’m off all day – I swear he thinks I just sit around drinking coffee.’ She looked at her cup and laughed. ‘Which I usually don’t.’
Karen didn’t laugh. Her brow furrowed and her eyes stayed trained on Noah. Eleanor got the distinct impression she was avoiding looking at her.
‘We could carry on making small talk if you like,’ she offered. ‘Or you could tell me what you came here to attempt to say,’
Karen grimaced. ‘It’s not that easy, Els …’
‘Is it Michael?’
‘No, it’s Adam.’
Eleanor felt her stomach churn at the words. Karen wasn’t one for drama – whatever she was about to say, she’d thought about it a lot and it was clearly concerning her.
‘Spit it out then.’ She tried to sound unconcerned, but the wobble in her voice gave her away. ‘What about Adam?’
Karen switched Noah to the other side, prolonging Eleanor’s unease for a few more seconds. When she spoke again, it was in a low voice, but her words might as well have been an assault.
‘I saw him with another woman.’
Although she’d been half expecting it – what else could have been so important and yet so hard for her friend to say? – Eleanor felt sick. When she said nothing, Karen continued.
‘They were in a jewellery shop in town. He had his hand on her arm; they were obviously, um, together.’
‘Obviously?’ Eleanor repeated, almost feeling the moment the denial kicked in. ‘Why obviously? Did you see them kissing? Were they holding hands?’
‘Well no, but …’
‘But what?’ Eleanor’s voice went up an octave. ‘What else is there?’
Karen shook her head and for the first time looked straight at her friend. She let out a sigh. ‘Nothing. There’s nothing else. But they were together, I just know.’
‘You just know.’ Eleanor suddenly felt every minute’s sleep she’d lost in the last twelve weeks weighing down on her. She just wanted to curl up under a blanket and not have to think about what Karen was trying to tell her. ‘It isn’t like you to embellish, Karen.