Joan Spanos are much newer to Herron Mills. They moved to our village from Queens, New York, in 1995, when George established his landscape architecture practice in the East End. Joan was then an assistant editor and is now the editor in chief of Wayfare + Ramble, a New York City–based travel magazine. As your listeners will know, they have two daughters, Zoe and Aster.
HARRIET BENYON: At three years apart, you’d think things might have been competitive between them, but it was never really like that.
MARTINA GREEN: You’re hearing from Harriet Benyon, a friend of Aster’s—and mine—from school. While I could talk all day about the Spanos sisters, I wanted you to be able to hear a perspective apart from my own.
HARRIET BENYON: They fought sometimes, they were normal siblings. I wouldn’t exactly describe them as best friends; they each had their own groups. But even though Aster was younger, she was always taking care of Zoe. I remember one of the first times I went over to their place. I think Aster and I were eleven and Zoe was fourteen. We were watching this movie about witches, and Aster held Zoe’s hand through all the scary parts. That’s a pretty good metaphor for their relationship. Her sister’s disappearance has been really hard on Aster. I mean, obviously. But she feels like she let her guard down, like she should have been there personally to stop anything bad from happening to Zoe.
ELLE COLERIDGE: George and Joan? They’re typical Herron Mills parents.
MARTINA GREEN: Again, I wanted to bring you an outside take. So now you’re hearing from Elle Coleridge, another classmate of Aster’s and mine. Elle is the president of Jefferson’s DECA and FBLA chapters, and she and Aster are both on swim team.
Elle, can you tell us what you mean by “typical Herron Mills parents”?
ELLE COLERIDGE: Oh. Well, you know. Busy. Career-focused. Big ambitions for their kids. They were thrilled when Aster made captain this year. Aster’s a little short for a swimmer, but she’s a total powerhouse. It’s usually George in the bleachers at meets; I think Joan’s in the city a lot for work.
MARTINA GREEN: Do you get the impression they aren’t around enough for their daughters?
ELLE COLERIDGE: No, I’m not saying that. I think like most parents around here, Mr. and Mrs. Spanos are balancing demanding jobs with raising a family. It’s like there are a lot of expectations placed on modern parents, especially mothers, to be everything all the time. It’s just not realistic. They’re good parents. Everyone saying they dropped the ball, trying to shove responsibility off on the family—it’s gross. You know no one has ever solved the Long Island Serial Killer murders, and that’s mostly because those girls were escorts, and no one reported them missing. For years, law enforcement didn’t care. It’s so sad. I’m not saying LISK had anything to do with Zoe, but this is a case where her family cares deeply. I can’t even look at Reddit anymore. What we need is a real lead, so people will stop passing judgment on the family, as if letting their college-aged daughter go to a New Year’s party was some kind of sin.
MARTINA GREEN: Indeed.
Let’s turn now to Caden and really dig into that relationship. Zoe and Caden have known each other practically since infancy; their friendship turned romantic in early high school, and they began dating during the summer following ninth grade. Zoe has always been much beloved by Mrs. Talbot; in turn, the Spanos family doted on Caden.
At school, they were the couple everyone was rooting for, the couple everyone secretly wished they could be. And their relationship didn’t just look picture-perfect from the outside. As anyone who has ever been in high school knows, relationships are very much on display within school walls. Whether you’ve been part of a high school couple or observed others, you know what sort of microscope those relationships are under. I spoke on the phone with Di MacAdam, former Jefferson senior class president, from her dorm room at Skidmore.
DI MACADAM: Zoe and Caden were … [PAUSE.] Wow, I’m still just so shocked, I’m sorry. [ANOTHER PAUSE.] Okay, Zoe and Caden. They were “that couple,” you know? And they didn’t even care about being popular. They were nominated for Homecoming Court a couple times, but they turned that stuff down. They had friends, but they mostly kept to themselves. I think that’s why everyone loved them so much. They weren’t big on PDA; they