“Crazy bitch, can’t drive,” he says as I crank the car.
“Now you want to talk. Keep your opinions about my driving to yourself, filthy bird.” I smile at him in the rearview mirror. “I guess all that moving around perked you up, huh?”
Fuel level is low.
“I know, I know, but I don’t have time for gas.” Come on, girl. I pat the dashboard.
Fuel level is low.
“Shut up, bitch,” screeches Bill.
“I know she’s annoying,” I tell him as I pull out of the driveway and take off for downtown.
Fuel level is low.
“I want cheese on it,” says the bird as he shuffles back and forth on the perch in his cage. Feathers fall as he flaps his wings.
I laugh. “On what? And don’t we all?”
He just glares at me.
We pull in, and once I’m out of the car, I unbuckle his cage and look for a place to put it so I can grab his baby bag and my purse.
I set him down on the pavement next to the car. Once I have the bags, I turn around and pick up the cage. It’s lighter than normal.
My eyes pop when I see he’s gone.
I spin around in a quick circle, searching the ground, calling his name.
My mouth is dry, anxiety level skyrocketing as I keep turning in circles. “Vampire Bill, please…where are you?”
I start widening my search grid of the parking lot, trying to peer under each car, checking behind tires and anywhere else I can think of.
Music blares from a truck that whips in and parks in an empty spot next to Lady Maxima. I’m on my knees but dash up and run toward my car, heart pounding. Lord, please don’t let a vehicle crush my bird.
My breath whooshes out when Blaze steps out. “What are you doing here?”
He tucks his hands into his pockets. “Was driving past and saw your car. Turned around and came back.”
Oh.
My mind goes back to last night, and then I shake myself.
I let out a little wail. “Will you help me look for Vampire Bill?”
“You lost him?” He looks horrified. “Here? How?”
“It’s a long story.” I quickly run through what happened this morning. “The latch must have come undone in the car. I don’t know…” A cold wind blows my hair and I realize it’s a mess; I have zilch makeup on and my outfit consists of joggers and a baggy Waylon sweatshirt. Perfect.
“He can’t fly. He’s around here somewhere,” he says.
“But what if something gets him before I find him?”
“Charisma.” He stalks toward me and takes my hands. I realize I’ve been wringing them. “Hey, calm down. Where have you looked already?”
But…
What…
I look down at our clasped fingers, the way his thumb is rubbing the top of my hand.
He kisses my forehead. “Come on, tell me where to start.”
“Under cars, maybe the landscaping, I guess. He’s hopping around with cats and hawks and mountain lions just waiting to pounce. What if something gets him?” My hands squeeze his.
His lips twitch. “I think we’re safe on the mountain lion front.”
“Either way, we have a situation! And we’re at the vet, and he hates it, and he’s probably super mad at me.”
“We’ll find him. Don’t worry.” He lets my hands go and starts looking around my car. “I have a cracker, Vampire Bill,” he calls out. “Wanna come get it?”
I take a second to consider him on his hands and knees searching for VB and then refocus, jogging to the landscaping near the front of my car.
“Maybe this was a setup,” Blaze says as he steps into the flowerbed to help me. “Maybe he’s hopping back to Chile or Argentina or wherever he’s from.”
I give him a small smile. “The question is, does he have some sexy female parrot waiting for him in a getaway vehicle?”
Blaze looks under a Subaru. “Maybe a drone picked him up.”
I snort. “Amazon does have those package-dropping ones.”
Blaze cups his hands to his mouth. “Jeff Bezos, if you’re here, just come out and no one will get hurt.” He looks over at me and grins. “Just trying to make you laugh.”
I smile…then a big truck zooms past on the highway just fifty yards away. Horror hits. What if he wanders out to the road? All I can see is smashed bird, and I’m headed that way when I hear Blaze shouting.
I flip around.
“Found him!” he yells from a small pine tree to the left, about five feet from my car.