The Hunt (By Kiss and Claw #2) - Melissa Haag Page 0,86
attributes are just like humans, we’re not the same. I was twelve when I reached sexual maturity. I didn’t question what was happening to me. My hunger drove me, and I embraced it.”
I swallowed hard and looked down at my hands.
“I’m not saying this to pressure you into feeding. I’m trying to help you understand something.
“You were so different from me. When I showed you how to feed, the revulsion and horror you felt was always plain on your face and in your scent. I left you with the Quills because, while you were sexually mature, you weren’t emotionally ready to embrace what you were.” She gave me a sad smile. “Based on what I heard in your voice last night, you still aren’t. I’m sorry that Adira pushed you into doing something you weren’t ready to do.”
I understood now what Mom meant by a frank talk. She was ready to listen. To really hear me. I swallowed hard.
“I don’t know what I think about last night. I hated taking away their will and forcing them to do things I knew they wouldn’t normally want to do. I could feel how hard Adira was fighting it, and I knew the moment her will was about to break. She did, too, based on when she’d vanished.
“I fed on the Quills and those frost giants to prove a point, not because I was hungry. I’ve never felt like more of a monster than I did last night.
“But because of Adira, I realized something really important. I need to stop letting human rules and expectations bind my thoughts and actions. I’m not human. I never was. I was always the predator, never the prey.”
I took a big breath.
“So I just need to figure out how to be okay with hurting people.” My voice broke on that last tormented word, and Mom started crying.
Then she startled me by yelling.
“Jason!”
He flew into the house, his eyes wide.
“What’s wrong?”
“Get the car. We’re going to kill that woman.” She stood. “I’m going to change into something black so you won’t need to worry about stains.”
“Nicolette, sit down,” Dad said firmly. “Think of the baby you carry and the one you’re scaring.”
His gaze shifted from Mom to me as he crossed the room and knelt beside my chair.
“What did Adira do to you?”
“She made her doubt herself, Jason. Our daughter. The strongest of my kind.”
“Drink your hot chocolate, my beloved,” he said without looking away from me. “Tell me what she did.”
I was so confused by both their reactions and actions I didn’t know what to think. My dad had essentially just told my mom to be quiet and drink her hot chocolate. And she’d listened. And instead of trying to comfort her while she was upset or rushing to get the car to make her happy, he was looking at me with a very clear and concerned gaze. I felt like I’d slipped into an alternate reality.
“She made me realize I’m not human,” I said without thinking.
Dad flinched like I’d struck him. I saw the truth in his eyes.
“I’m a monster,” I whispered, saying the words I knew he’d never utter out loud.
“You’re not a monster, Eliana. You’re our daughter. The best parts of both of us.”
How many sermons had I listened to that had said the opposite? More than I could remember.
“The best or the worst, Dad?”
Mom’s hand came down on the table with a crack that made me jump. Tears still streamed down her cheeks, but her eyes were black. Fully black like mine always got.
“You are the best of us, Eliana,” Mom answered. “Never doubt that.”
I looked back at Dad.
“You don’t believe that. And neither do I. That’s the problem. I just don’t know what to believe or who I am anymore. Am I a sinner? Am I the devil’s tool? Am I a predator driven to hurt others so I can live?”
“It wasn’t only Adira who made you doubt yourself,” Dad said, looking sick. “We both played our parts, too.”
Mom sniffled, drawing my attention again. As I watched, the black bled from her gaze.
“I never thought that by leaving you in the human world, human social norms would override your natural instincts. But they have. And there’s nothing wrong with the way you think or what you believe. You’re you, Eliana. There’s no other like you. And I think that’s what you’ve been trying to get all the adults in your life to understand, and we’ve been failing you miserably. Forgive us.”