The Hunt (By Kiss and Claw #2) - Melissa Haag Page 0,71
steady my pulse. I willed myself to calm down as I kept my back to him.
“Okay. Then how would you reply?”
“Tell her you’re practicing your skills. Thank her for the break, and ask her what she needs.”
“I hate misleading her.”
“But you aren’t. Every word of that is the truth whether you believe it or not.”
Understanding lit, and I looked back at him. He was still on his side of the pool and looked more relaxed than he had a moment ago.
“That wasn’t you teasing like usual just now, was it?”
His lips quirked at the corners.
“The way you leaned out of the water just far enough so only your legs were still in? That would have brought any male to his knees, Eliana.”
Using the phone as an excuse to give him my back once more, I sent a reply to Adira as I struggled not to cry.
Me: I’m practicing, but really appreciate the excuse for a break. What do you need? I can call you, and we can talk for a while. Or should I come back to the Academy?
Every word of that was desperately true. I’d willingly endure Adira to avoid getting back into that pool with Fenris.
Adira: What are you practicing?
Me: Luring my prey.
I sniffled, the truth tearing me apart.
Water splashed behind me, but I didn’t turn to see. I couldn’t. My heart was too busy breaking itself apart.
“Don’t,” Fenris said softly. “Please don’t. I’m sorry for pushing. I shouldn’t have said any of that. Forgive me?”
“For what? For telling me the truth like I wanted? I think you’re right. There’s a lot I’m not ready to hear.”
“I know. I’m trying to help you, Eliana. Please believe that.”
“I do.”
“Can I claim one of my hugs?”
I shook my head.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”
Since Adira hadn’t yet answered, I dropped the phone onto the bag and went to sit against the tunnel wall. The cool temperature against my back helped calm what still raged inside of me. Fenris crouched beside the pool, a fair distance away. His intent study made me nervous so I closed my eyes.
After a few minutes, I heard the faint lap of water and knew he’d returned to the pool. That thing inside of me gradually eased, and I opened my eyes.
He lounged in the hot spring, his arms draped wide over the ledge, and his head tipped back. The pose might have conveyed a relaxed carelessness to anyone who didn’t know him. But I did, and all I saw was the defeat in the way he held his shoulders.
I hated that I’d disappointed him, and I knew I needed to find a way to explain my tears and resistance to his repeated offers.
“You’re afraid of losing a friend, but so am I,” I said.
“You smell like lust all the time, Fenris. I don’t need to prime you for a feeding; you’re already primed.” The flush staining my cheeks grew brighter with each word. “Do you understand what would happen if I started feeding on you like they want? That lust would increase. You’d become driven to find a way to sate it. Obsessed.”
He swallowed hard, and I stared at the strong column of his throat, knowing he was listening.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said I could break you in ways that could never be fixed. Dying of want and desperate to ease the ache inside you, you’ll seek relief. You won’t care who you give yourself to. And when it’s done, you’ll be mated for life. But you won’t see that person. You won’t think of her as the center of your universe like you’re supposed to. You’ll only think of me.
“Fight me when I’m too weak to fight myself, Fenris. Because if I fed on you, I would never be able to forgive myself.”
He lifted his head, and our gazes locked.
“And if it’s you?” he asked.
“If what’s me?”
“What if you’re the one I want to give myself to?”
So many images flitted through my head at the thought of Fenris giving himself to me, but the one that stuck was superimposed over another. The image of my dad on his knees before my mom when she came to get me. The way he’d begged for her to accept him again.
An ache returned to my chest that had nothing to do with hunger. I briefly closed my eyes against the pain but didn’t try to ignore it. I let it ground me and give me focus.