A Hunger for the Forbidden - By Maisey Yates Page 0,55
you, and I have done it with much greater coercion. A little news piece on what a jerk I am for not making your child legitimate was hardly going to force my hand.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“To cement the deal. To give our child my name. All things I could have walked away from.”
“Then forgive me, at least, for lying to you. For leaving you in the hotel room.”
“I do. I was angry about it, but only because it felt so wrong to watch you walking toward him. To know that he would have you and not me. If I had known that there was a deal on the table that could be secured by marriage to you I would have been the one volunteering for the job.”
A ghost of a smile touched her lips. “When my father first told me about the deal with the Correttis, that it would be sealed by marriage, I said yes immediately. I was so sure it would be you. And when it was Alessandro who showed up at the door to talk terms the next day I thought … I thought I would die.”
“Waiting for your knight to rescue you?”
“Yes. I was. But I’ve stopped doing that now. I need to learn to rescue myself. To make my own decisions.”
“You’ve certainly been doing that over the past couple of months.”
“I have. And some of them have been bad, ill-timed decisions, but they’ve been mine. And I want you to know that I’ve made another decision.”
“What is that?”
“You’re my husband. And I’ll take you as you are. Knowing your past, knowing the kind of man you can be. I want you to understand that I’m not sugarcoating it, or glossing over the truth. I understand what you did. I understand that … that you don’t feel emotion the same way that I do. The same way most people do.”
“Do you really understand that? I keep it on a leash for a reason, Alessia, a very important reason, and I won’t compromise it.”
She nodded. “I know.”
“And still you want to try? You want to be my wife? To let me have a hand in raising our child?”
“Yes. No matter what, you’re the father of my child, Matteo, and there is no revelation that can change that. I don’t want to change that.”
“How can you say that with such confidence?”
“Because no matter what you might have done, you aren’t cruel.”
She leaned in and he took a strand of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. Soft like silk. He wanted to feel it brushing over his skin. Wanted to drown out this moment, drown out his pain, with physical pleasure.
“Am I not?” he asked.
“No.”
“You’re wrong there,” he said. “So very wrong. I am selfish, a man who thinks of his own pleasure, his own comfort, above all else. No matter how I pretend otherwise.”
“That isn’t true.”
“Yes, it is. Even now, all I can think about is what your bare skin will feel like beneath my hands. All I want is to lose myself in you.”
“Then do it.”
His every muscle locked up, so tight it was painful. “Alessia, don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t sacrifice yourself for me!” he roared. “Don’t do this because you feel sorry for me.”
“I’m not.” She took a step toward him. “I want this because I want to be close to you. To know you. To be your wife in every way.” A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “I’m also not opposed to the orgasms you’re so good at giving me. This is by no means unselfish on my part, trust me.”
His skin felt like it was burning. Or perhaps that was the blood beneath his skin. Either way, he felt like he would be consumed by his need. His desire. Passion he swore he would never allow himself to feel.
Emotion he swore he would never feel.
But in this moment with Alessia, her eyes so bright and intense, so honest, he could hold back nothing. Deny her nothing. Least of all this.
She knew the truth, and still she wanted him. Not as a perfect figure, a knight in shining armor, but as the man he was. It was a gift he didn’t deserve, a gift he should turn away, because he had no right to it.
But he had spoken the truth. He was selfish. Far too selfish to do anything but take what was on offer.
“Show me you want me.” His words were rough, forced through his tightened throat. “Show me you still