The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms - By N. K. Jemisin Page 0,86

it was just a cloak again.

I felt like that cloak all of a suddenwild, out of control, giddily alive. I lifted my arms and closed my eyes as another breeze gusted. It felt so good.

I wish I could fly, I said.

I can gift you with that magic, for a time.

I shook my head, closing my eyes to sway with the wind. Magic is wrong. I knew that oh, so well now.

He said nothing to that, which surprised me until I thought deeper. After witnessing so many generations of Arameri hypocrisy, perhaps he no longer cared enough to complain.

It was tempting, so tempting, to stop caring myself. My mother, Darr, the succession; what did any of it matter? I could forget all of that so easily, and spend the remainder of my lifeall four days of itindulging any whim or pleasure I wanted.

Any pleasure, except one.

Last night, I said, lowering my arms at last. Why didnt you kill me?

Youre more useful alive.

I laughed. I felt light-headed, reckless. Does that mean Im the only person in Sky who has nothing to fear from you? I knew it was a stupid question before I finished speaking, but I do not think I was entirely sane in that moment.

Fortunately, the Nightlord did not answer my stupid, dangerous question. I glanced back at him to gauge his mood and saw that his nightcloak had changed again. This time the wisps had spun long and thin, drifting through the garden like layers of campfire smoke. The ones nearest me curled inward, surrounding me on all sides. I was reminded of certain plants in my homeland, which grew teeth or sticky tendrils to ensnare insects.

And at the heart of this dark flower, my bait: his glowing face, his lightless eyes. I stepped closer, deeper into his shadow, and he smiled.

You wouldnt have had to kill me, I said softly. I ducked my head and looked up at him through my lashes, curving my body in silent invitation. I had seen prettier women do this all my life, yet never dared myself. I lifted a hand and moved it toward his chest, half-expecting to touch nothing and be snatched forward into darkness. But this time there was a body within the shadows, startling in its solidity. I could not see it, or my own hand where I touched him, but I could feel skin, smooth and cool beneath my fingertips.

Bare skin. Gods.

I licked my lips and met his eyes. Theres a great deal you could have done without compromising my usefulness.

Something in his face changed, like a cloud across the moon: the shadow of the predator. His teeth were sharper when he spoke. I know.

Something in me changed, too, as the wild feeling went still. That look in his face. Some part of me had been waiting for it.

Would you? I licked my lips again, swallowed around sudden tightness in my throat. Kill me? If I asked?

There was a pause.

When the Lord of Night touched my face, fingertips tracing my jaw, I thought I was imagining things. There was an unmistakable tenderness in the gesture. But then, just as tenderly, the hand slid farther down and curled around my neck. As he leaned close, I closed my eyes.

Are you asking? His lips brushed my ear as he whispered.

I opened my mouth to speak and could not. All at once I was trembling. Tears welled in my eyes, spilled down my face onto his wrist. I wanted to speak, to ask, so badly. But I just stood there, trembling and crying, while his breath tickled my ear. In and out. Three times.

Then he released my neck, and my knees buckled. I fell forward, and suddenly I was buried in the soft, cool dark of him, pressed against a chest I could not see, and I began sobbing into it. After a moment, the hand that had almost killed me cupped the nape of my neck. I must have bawled for an hour, though maybe it was less. I dont know. He held me tight the whole time.

20

The Arena

ALL THAT REMAINS OF THE TIME before the Gods War is whispered myth and half-forgotten legend. The priests are quick to punish anyone caught telling these tales. There was nothing before Itempas, they say; even in the age of the Three, he was first and greatest. Still, the legends persist.

For example: it is said that once people made sacrifices of flesh to the Three. They would fill a room with volunteers. Young,