The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms - By N. K. Jemisin Page 0,119

into my hair; one of his arms slid around me from behind, pulling me against him. I could not help relaxing against him.

I turned in the half circle of his arm and stopped in surprise. The man who gazed down at me did not look like Nahadoth, not in any guise Id ever seen. He looked human, Amn, and his hair was a rather dull blond nearly as short as mine. His face was handsome enough, but it was neither the face he wore to please me nor the face that Scimina had shaped. It was just a face. And he wore white. That, more than anything else, shocked me silent.

Nahadothbecause it was him, I felt that, no matter what he looked likelooked amused. The Lord of Night is not welcome at any celebration of Itempass servants.

I just didnt think I touched his sleeve. It was just clothsomething finely made, part of a jacket that looked vaguely military. I stroked it and was disappointed when it did not curl around my fingers in welcome.

I made the substance of the universe. Did you think white thread would be a challenge?

That startled me into a laugh, which startled me silent in the next instant. I had never heard him joke before. What did it mean?

He lifted a hand to my cheek, sobering. It struck me that though he was pretending to be human, he was nothing like his daytime self. Nothing about him was human beyond his appearancenot his movements, not the speed with which he shifted from one expression to another, especially not his eyes. A human mask simply wasnt enough to conceal his true nature. It was so obvious to my eyes that I marveled the other people out on the balcony werent screaming and running, terrified to find the Nightlord so close.

My children think I am going mad, he said, stroking my face ever so gently. Kurue tells me I risk all our hopes over you. Shes right.

I frowned in confusion. My life is still yours. Ill abide by our agreement, even though Ive lost the contest. You acted in good faith.

He sighed, to my surprise leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine. Even now you speak of your life as a commodity, sold for our good faith. What we have done to you is obscene.

I had no idea what to say to that; I was too stunned. It occurred to me, in a flash of insight, that this was what Kurue fearedNahadoths fickle, impassioned sense of honor. He had gone to war to vent his grief over Enefa; he had kept himself and his children enslaved out of sheer stubbornness rather than forgive Itempas. He could have dealt with his brother differently, in ways that wouldnt have risked the whole universe and destroyed so many lives. But that was the problem: when the Nightlord cared for something, his decisions became irrational, his actions extreme.

And he was beginning, against all reason, to care for me.

Flattering. Frightening. I could not guess what he might do in such a circumstance. But, more important, I realized what this meant in the short term. In only a few hours, I would die, and he would be left to mourn yet again.

How strange that this thought made my own heart ache, too.

I cupped the Nightlords face between my hands and sighed, closing my eyes so that I could feel the person beneath the mask. Im sorry, I said. And I was. I had never meant to cause him pain.

He did not move, and neither did I. It felt good, leaning against his solidity, resting in his arms. It was an illusion, but for the first time in a long while, I felt safe.

I dont know how long we stood there, but we both heard it when the music changed. I straightened and looked around; the handful of guests who had been on the patio with us had gone inside. That meant it was midnighttime for the main dance of the evening, the highlight of the ball.

Do you want to go in? Nahadoth asked.

No, of course not. Im fine out here.

They dance to honor Itempas.

I looked at him, confused. Why should I care about that?

His smile made me feel warm inside. Have you turned from the faith of your ancestors so completely?

My ancestors worshipped you.

And Enefa, and Itempas, and our children. The Darre were one of the few races who honored us all.

I sighed. Its been a long time since those days. Too much