The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms - By N. K. Jemisin Page 0,106
creature. And my Naha is so very strong. Are you certain?
Her insults wafted past me like air; I barely noticed. I am.
Scimina shook her head, bemused. Very well. I have no use for him at the moment anyhow; hes weak today. Probably just right for you, though She paused then, glancing at the windows. Checking the position of the sun. Of course you know to beware sunset.
Of course. I smiled, drawing a momentary frown from her. I have no wish to die earlier than necessary.
Something like suspicion flickered in Sciminas eyes for a moment, and I felt tension in the pit of my belly. But she finally shrugged.
Go with her, she said, and Nahadoth rose.
For how long? he asked, his voice neutral.
Until shes dead. Scimina smiled and opened her arms in a magnanimous gesture. Who am I to deny a last request? But while youre at it, Naha, see to it that she does nothing too strenuousnothing that would incapacitate her, at least. We need her fit, two mornings from now.
The iron chain had been connected to a nearby wall. It fell away with Sciminas words. Naha picked up the loose end, then stood watching me, his expression unreadable.
I inclined my head to Scimina. She ignored me, returning her attention to the tailors work with a snarl of irritation; one of them had pinned the hem badly. I left, not caring whether Nahadoth followed now or later.
* * *
What would I want, if I could be free?
Safety for Darr.
My mothers death given meaning.
Change, for the world.
And for myself
I understand now. I have chosen who will shape me.
* * *
Shes right, Naha said, when we stood together in my apartment. Im not much use at the moment. He said it blandly, with no emotional inflection, but I guessed his bitterness.
Fine, I said. Im not interested anyhow. I went to stand at the window.
Silence behind me for a long moment, and then he came over. Somethings changed. The light was wrong to see his reflection, but I could imagine his suspicious expression. Youre different.
A lot has happened since you and I last met.
He touched my shoulder. When I did not throw off his hand, he took hold of the other, then turned me gently to face him. I let him. He stared at me, trying to read my eyes, perhaps trying to intimidate me.
Except, up close, he was anything but intimidating. Deep lines of weariness marked paths from his sunken eyes; the eyes themselves were bloodshot, even more ordinary looking than before. His posture was slouched and strange. Belatedly I understood: he could barely stand. Nahadoths torture had taken its toll on him as well.
My face must have shown my pity, because abruptly he scowled and straightened. Why did you bring me here?
Sit down, I said, gesturing to the bed. I tried to turn back to the window, but his fingers tightened on my shoulders. If he had been at his best, he would have hurt me. I understood that now. He was a slave, a whore, not even allowed part-time control of his own body. The only power he had was what little he could exert over his lovers, his users. That wasnt much.
Are you waiting for him? he asked. The way he said him held a treasures worth of resentment. Is that it?
I reached up and detached his hands from my shoulders, pushing them away firmly. Sit down. Now.
The now forced him to let go of me, walk the few steps to the bed, and sit down. He did it glaring the whole way. I turned back to the window and let his hate splash uselessly against my back.
Yes, I said. Im waiting for him.
A stunned pause. Youre in love with him. You werent before, but you are now. Arent you?
* * *
You resist the truth.
* * *
I considered the question.
In love with him? I said it slowly. The phrase felt strange when I thought about it, like a poem that has been read too often. In love with him.
* * *
Another memory preoccupies you.
* * *
I was surprised to hear real fear in Nahas voice. Dont be a fool. You dont know how often Ive woken up beside a corpse. If youre strong, you can resist him.
I know. Ive said no to him before.
Then Confusion.
I had a sudden epiphany as to what his life had been like: this other, unwanted Nahadoth. Every day a plaything of the Arameri. Every nightnot sleep but oblivion, as close to death as any