The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms - By N. K. Jemisin Page 0,104
shrugged. Its a thing of the gods. Best to stay away.
I could not help it; I laughed. Yes, I agree!
Tvril looked at me oddly, a small uncertain smile on his lips. You seem comfortable.
I shrugged. It isnt my nature to spend all my time fretting. Whats done is done. Nahadoths words.
Tvril shifted uncomfortably, flicking a few stray windblown hairs out of his face. Im told that an army gathers along the pass that leads from Menchey into Darr.
I steepled my fingers and gazed at them, stilling the voice that cried out within myself. Scimina had played her game well. If I did not choose her, I had no doubt she had left instructions for Gemd to begin the slaughter. Gemd might do it anyhow once I set the Enefadeh free, but I was counting on the world being preoccupied with survival amid the outbreak of another Gods War. Sieh had promised that Darr would be kept safe through the cataclysm. I wasnt sure I entirely trusted that promise, but it was better than nothing.
For what felt like the hundredth time, I considered and discarded the idea of approaching Relad. Sciminas people were on the ground; her knife was at Darrs throat. If I chose Relad at the ceremony, could he act before that knife cut a fatal wound? I could not bet my peoples future on a man I didnt even respect.
Only the gods could help me now.
Relad has confined himself in his quarters, Tvril said, obviously thinking along the same lines as me. He receives no calls, lets no one in, not even the servants. The Father knows what hes eatingor drinking. There are bets among the highbloods that hell kill himself before the ball.
I suppose theres little else interesting here to bet on.
Tvril glanced at me, perhaps deciding whether to say more. There are also bets that you will kill yourself.
I laughed into the breeze. What are the odds? Do you think theyd let me bet, too?
Tvril turned to face me, his eyes suddenly intent. Yeineif, if you He faltered silent and looked away; his voice had choked on the last word.
I took his hand and held it while he bowed his head and trembled and fought to keep control of himself. He led and protected the servants here; tears would have made him feel weak. Men have always been fragile that way.
After a few moments he took a deep breath. His voice was higher than usual as he said, Shall I escort you to the ball tomorrow night?
When Viraine had offered the same thing, I had hated him. With Tvril, the offer made me love him a little more. No, Tvril. I want no escort.
It could help. To have a friend there.
It could. But I will not ask such a thing of my few friends.
You arent asking. Im offering
I stepped closer, leaning against his arm. Ill be fine, Tvril.
He regarded me for a long while, then shook his head slowly. You will, wont you? Ah, Yeine. Ill miss you.
You should leave this place, Tvril. Find yourself a good woman to take care of you and keep you in silks and jewelry.
Tvril stared at me, then burst out laughing, not strained at all this time. A Darre woman?
No, are you mad? Youve seen what were like. Find some Ken girl. Maybe those pretty spots of yours will breed true.
Prettyfreckles, you barbarian! Theyre called freckles.
Whatever. I lifted his hand, kissed the back of it, and let him go. Good-bye, my friend.
I left him there, still laughing, as I walked away.
* * *
But?
But that was not all I wanted.
* * *
That conversation helped me decide on my next move. I went looking for Viraine.
I had been of two minds about confronting him ever since the previous nights conversation with Nahadoth. I believed now that Viraine, not Dekarta, had killed my mother. I still did not understand it; if he had loved her, why kill her? And why now, twenty years after shed broken his heart? Part of me craved understanding.
The other part of me did not care why hed done it. This part of me wanted blood, and I knew that if I listened to it I might do something foolish. There would be blood aplenty when I got my vengeance on the Arameri; all the horror and death of a second Gods War unleashed. That much blood should have been enough for me but I would not be alive to see it. We are selfish that way, we mortals.