look at her, and suggested a shine, pointing at Victor’s brogues.
“After this!” Victor snorted, pointing at Lucie and shouting out the few insults he knew in Annamese. “You’re lucky I don’t have you banned from the station.”
He shooed the child away with one of his rolled-up papers, hitting him across the back.
I held Lucie by the shoulders. She was looking down at her dress in horror. On the upper part of her starched white skirt was a black checkmark-shaped swoop of shoe polish.
“Maman!” she cried, staring at the stain. “He ruined my dress,” she whispered, tears quickly forming in the corner of her eyes. “I can’t go on the train like this,” she said, sobbing.
“No, Lucie, no, don’t cry,” I said, embracing her, but making sure to avoid the stain. “I’ll take you to wash it. We can scrub it out, don’t worry, chérie.” I patted her on the shoulder.
“Take her to the washroom,” said Victor, stroking Lucie’s head comfortingly. “I’ll wait here.” He gestured to the bench closest to the bathroom.
I nodded and pushed Lucie the few steps to the door.
When we were inside, and luckily alone, Lucie pulled her skirt up and looked at the mark.
“Are you sure it will come out?” she asked, dropping the fabric and wiping at her tears.
“Of course,” I said brightly, reaching for a hand towel. I wet it and soaped it up before starting to scrub.
We watched as my right hand moved back and forth and I tugged at the garment with my left. But all that did was spread the black stain, so I crouched down on the floor, hoping to get a better angle. It was not going to be easy to remove.
I scrubbed as hard as I could and listened as her sobs quieted. When I looked up and smiled at her, happy that the mark was turning gray, black spots started swimming before my eyes and I had to bend my head quickly down to avoid falling over.
“Maman?” I heard her say, but her voice sounded far away.
“I just feel a bit faint,” I said, standing up carefully. Feeling dizzier, I gripped the sink and closed my eyes, letting my head drop heavily forward. With my eyes still closed, I turned on the water. I placed one of my hands under the stream, keeping the other on the sink for balance.
When I felt a little steadier, I bent down and drank from the sink, lapping the cool water in large gulps. I stayed like that for a few moments, feeling as if my thirst would never be quenched.
“I’m sorry, Lucie,” I mumbled when I felt I could stand up again without help. I wiped off my mouth, glanced in the mirror briefly, surprised by my pale reflection, then whipped my head to my left.
Lucie was no longer standing next to me.
“Lucie?” I exclaimed, turning around to the stalls. They were empty. “Lucie!” I called out, running in a circle in the little room. She wasn’t anywhere.
She was gone.
I ran out to the waiting room and checked the bench Victor had pointed to, but she wasn’t there, either. Neither was Victor.
“Lucie!” I shouted, rushing between the benches, all packed with travelers, and out to the central space. “Victor!”
The station was crowded, and I suddenly felt as if I were swimming in a sea of bodies, when I should have been able to spot them so easily.
What could have happened? Lucie wasn’t a child who wandered off, but perhaps she had something pressing to say to her father or wanted our cases back so she could change her dress. Perhaps the shoeblack had convinced Victor to get a shine after all. I stared at the empty bench a few seconds more, then swiveled to look at the row of benches where Lucie had wanted to sit. They weren’t there, either. I looked up at the clock inside the station. There were still ten minutes before the train down the coast was due to arrive.
It was a large station. And they could be anywhere.
Fearing the worst, I walked the length of the building, avoiding the small groups of Indochinese men in three-piece traveling suits, their hair deeply parted and slicked down, leather bags at their sides. I moved through the left and right wings, the center hall twice, then out the back door to the platform with the rows of tracks. They weren’t there, so I hurried out to the front again to see if they were with the vendors. There