How Much I Feel - Marie Force Page 0,78

is love.

JASON

We end up spending the rest of Saturday in her bed. We talk about getting up to go do something or to have dinner at the restaurant, but in the end we order takeout, eat in bed, watch movies and make love. It’s the most perfect day and night I’ve ever had with anyone.

Carmen has been quieter than usual since the call from Terri opened the possibility of me returning, eventually, to New York. That news would’ve thrilled me a week ago, but now the thought of leaving Carmen has become unimaginable. The very real possibility exists that New York will ask me to come back and Miami-Dade will deny privileges in deference to its sister facility.

If that happens, I’ll have little choice but to return to New York to pick up my career and research already in progress. After meeting Carmen’s family, seeing how close she is to them and how tied she is to her community, I can’t picture her anywhere but here, not that I’d presume to make that choice for her. I just wonder if she could be truly happy living so far from her family and home.

These are the thoughts that run through my mind Sunday at noon as I drive us to her family’s restaurant. As always, the scent of Carmen’s hair and skin makes me crazy for more of her even after the decadence of the last twenty-four hours.

I downshift, slowing the car to a stop at a red light. As soon as the light changes and we’re moving again, I reach for her hand.

She looks over at me, a small smile curving her sexy lips. It’s not the usual smile that lights up her entire face. I haven’t seen that one since Terri called yesterday and gave Carmen reason to worry about where this relationship of ours may be headed.

I want to reassure her, to tell her she has nothing to worry about, but I won’t do that until I know for sure it’s true. If I end up going back to New York, I’ll ask her to come with me, even if I know that’s a long shot. She just landed her dream job at Miami-Dade.

Ugh, I wish it didn’t all seem so hopelessly complicated. All I want to do is celebrate the fact that I’ve found her, that I’ve fallen for her. I want to say fuck it to everything that isn’t her, even if I know I can’t do that with all the time and energy I’ve invested in my career. It was a huge deal for Carmen to get involved with me in the first place, and the last freaking thing I want to do is make her sorry she took a chance on me.

That’s my greatest fear—that I’ll make her sorry, and this interlude with me will turn out to be a setback for her.

I can’t let that happen, no matter what else might transpire.

We park in the lot outside the restaurant, which is currently closed to the public. Carmen told me that Sunday brunch is for family and friends, the only time Vincent and Vivian reserve for themselves in the hectic running of the restaurant. Carmen also prepared me for a curious crowd who’ll ask inappropriate questions about our relationship as well as their own medical issues.

I’m ready for whatever they’re dishing up. They’re important to her, so they’re important to me. I’ll also be meeting Len and Josie, who are Tony’s parents, which makes this brunch an even bigger deal for all of us. It’s a good thing I don’t have issues with my stomach, because if I did, I’m sure it would be acting up as I follow Carmen in through the back door.

She’s wearing another of those wrap dresses, this one red with flowers on it, that accentuate her curves to delicious perfection. Her long hair is down and curly, and sky-high sexy-as-fuck black heels click on the terra-cotta tile floor. She’s dazzling, and I can’t keep my eyes off her. I’m wearing a pin-striped dress shirt and navy pants, even though she said I could wear jeans if I wanted to. Somehow jeans didn’t feel appropriate for this occasion. I feel like a boring accessory next to the magnificence that is Carmen.

Abuela is the first one we see. She’s coming out of the kitchen carrying a platter bigger than she is laden with food that has my mouth watering.

I step up to help her. “Let me take that for you.”

She hands

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