How to Marry Your Frenemy - London Casey Page 0,59
right to snoop around.”
I wanted to find her toys.
I wanted to see what made her tick and tock.
I leaned back on the couch and smiled.
“Fuck it,” I whispered.
I stood up and walked across the apartment to the bedroom.
When I opened the door, I was greeted by the smell of Callie.
Her skin. Her hair. Her perfume. The laundry soap she used. The smell of sleep on her sheets.
All of it mixing perfectly and wrapping around me like a tight blanket.
I groaned and flicked on the light.
Her bed wasn’t made.
I shook my head.
“My wife is a slob,” I said.
There were clothes on the floor too.
Nice clothes. Casual clothes.
More bras hanging off the dresser and the mirror like they were part of the decor.
It made me laugh.
So this proper and hard assed woman at the office was living like this in private…
It was absolutely fascinating to me.
I walked to the bed and touched the pillow.
I shook my head.
I may have been a little buzzed but I wasn’t going to stoop low enough to smell her pillow. If anything, I wanted to smell her sheets. About halfway down… to see if I could smell her…
Even that seemed a little outrageous.
If I even thought for a second I wanted Callie in that way, I could just make my move and we could really get the marriage going.
I moved to the nightstand drawer and opened it.
In my mind, I pictured some neon colored rubber dicks to roll and flop around.
There was a picture in the drawer.
It was of a young girl.
“Callie,” I said.
I could pick out the features clear as day.
The young girl stood at a homemade lemonade stand.
Her hands flat on the stand, no smile on her face.
I laughed out loud.
So Callie had a lemonade stand, huh? She’s been a businesswoman all her life then.
There were no sex toys waiting for me in the drawer so I put the picture back and shut the drawer.
I left the bedroom and took my seat back on the couch.
There was noise outside the door.
Callie was home.
And she wasn’t alone.
The door opened and Callie looked at me and gasped.
Behind her walked Derrick.
I stood up and it took the ditz of a guy a good three seconds to realize I was there.
He was too busy staring down at Callie’s chest, picturing all the things he wanted to do to her tits.
When he saw me, I swear on my life, he pushed Callie out of the way and let out a scream that sounded like a monkey having wild sex.
He waved his arms and bent his knees and looked to be in the worst kind of karate stance I’d ever seen in my life.
“Holy…”
“You want the pain, asshole?” Derrick growled. “I’ll bring the pain, motherfucker.”
“Derrick,” Callie said.
“Go in the bedroom,” Derrick said. “Call the police.”
“She’s not calling the cops on her husband,” I said.
Derrick squinted and again it took him another three seconds to realize who I was.
“Jackson,” he said. “You’re the neighbor.”
“The husband,” I said.
“I’m confused,” Derrick said.
“Jackson, what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” Callie asked.
“I was waiting up for you, sweetie,” I said.
I walked toward her and Derrick made the bold move to try and cut me off.
“Wait a second, man,” he said. “This doesn’t make sense.”
Derrick and I were then facing off.
“What doesn’t make sense? How to spell your name? Because of the two r’s?”
“Don’t be a dick to me,” Derrick said. “I will fight you.”
“With your karate moves there?”
“I’ll chop your neck and you’ll pass out,” he said.
I laughed. “You got it, my man. Hey, listen, thanks for bringing my wife home safe and sound. Means a lot.”
“I’m not fucking leaving,” Derrick said. “Callie promised me sex.”
“Derrick!” Callie yelled.
“She promised you sex?” I asked.
“Yeah she did,” Derrick said. “That a problem?”
“Well, considering we’re married, it’s a big problem,” I said.
“Both of you leave now,” Callie said.
“What about our marriage?” I asked.
“What about the sex?” Derrick asked.
I had had enough of him for one night.
I grabbed the front of his shirt and walked him back against a wall.
He hit with a thud and his eyes went wide.
“Jackson! Stop!” Callie yelled.
“If I ever hear you talk about fucking my wife again, I’m going to rip your dick off and shove it in your ear.”
“My dick is too big to fit in my ear,” he said.
“You’re a fucking moron,” I said. “Get the fuck out of here.”
I threw Derrick toward the door.
He spun around and made the same karate motion he did before.