How the Hitman Stole Christmas - Sam Mariano Page 0,94

ass, pushy kind. She minds her business. She won’t tell anyone anything—she doesn’t even know anything to tell. She knows about me, that’s it.”

“She knows you work for this family.”

I hesitate.

Fuck.

“Jesus Christ.” He flings the towel on the ground and shakes his head before looking back at me. “She know anything specific? I’m not talking generalities here. Does she know any details about the work you do for us? And don’t you fucking lie to me, Jasper. If you lie to try to protect this girl, we’re gonna have a real problem.”

That’s a particularly stressful question because while Autumn doesn’t know where any bodies are buried so to speak, she does know some details she really shouldn’t.

She knows on what day I killed a man. She saw his blood on my car. She even knows the location of our clean-up spot, despite not knowing she does, because that’s where I picked her up when her car broke down.

There is only one acceptable answer to this question, though, and it’s none of that.

I know I have to lie convincingly to a man I’ve never lied to, a man I would not personally recommend lying to, and that rubs me wrong. Not only because I don’t know if I can convince him, but because I don’t like lying to Adrian. I don’t want to.

But if I want to ensure Autumn’s safety, I have no other choice.

“No.”

He raises his eyebrows. “No?” Nodding toward his chair, he asks evenly, “And if I tied her up right here and asked her myself, she’d tell me the same thing?”

“If you tied her up in that chair and asked her yourself, you and I would have a very big problem,” I inform him, steel in my tone.

Adrian looks at me hard, sizing me up. “You love her.”

At that, I look away.

“Does she love you?”

I wrap the hand towel around my fist restlessly. “I don’t know. I think she could have.”

“Then why’d you dump her?”

“Because…” I unwrap the towel and throw it, shaking my head. “It’s not that simple for guys like us, Adrian. Guys like me. Of course I want to have her here with me, but there’s danger that comes along with this lifestyle. I don’t know how to keep her safe when I’m busy keeping us safe.”

“That’s something we all have to think about, Jasper, but there are ways to do it.”

“Ways for you,” I tell him.

I don’t mean to sound so accusing, but I hear a trace of envy in my own voice. I don’t want him thinking I harbor any ill will over the better perks that come with being higher up on the food chain, so I work to squash it before I go on.

“You live behind Mateo’s walls. Of course you don’t have to worry when you’re at work that your wife isn’t safe at home, but I don’t have that kind of security. If I brought Autumn here to live in my shitty fucking apartment and then someone got to her?” I shake my head. “I can’t be the reason something bad happens to her, Adrian. And I can’t afford to spend all my time distracted by her, either. If I’m constantly worried about her safety, how am I supposed to concentrate on what I need to concentrate on?”

His lips thin, but he doesn’t offer up some magical solution I haven’t considered already.

“It’s just not in the cards for me,” I tell him, resigned to my fate. “I care about her too much. I can’t do this job and have her. I’m happy for you that you can, but some of us… some of us can’t have it all.”

Adrian doesn’t say anything.

His gaze is so solemn, I can’t hold it anymore.

I drop his gaze—and this ugly-ass topic—and turn to walk away.

As I do, my stomach knots up and I can’t breathe as easily as I should.

I hope like hell I did an adequate job assuring the most dangerous man I know that Autumn isn’t a potential threat.

But I’m not sure I did.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Autumn

Sleet pelts my bedroom window so hard it sounds like someone is outside throwing rocks.

I think that’s what wakes me up.

I can’t be sure.

All I know right away is that something doesn’t feel right.

I get the strangest sense that there’s someone in the room with me.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I swallow, keeping my eyes closed while I try to orient myself, figure out where the intruder is. If they’re watching me, they