“It happened as most stupid stories go—too much alcohol, not enough sense. Add an aggressive woman who had been interested in me for a while.”
“We’ve been discussing safe sex with you since you were thirteen years old,” Seth points out angrily.
“This is actually a result of safe sex gone wrong. Nothing you can say to me I haven’t already said to myself. Hell, I have the safe sex conversation with all my clients, treating them like adolescent boys. Now, look at me. This isn’t setting a good example.”
“What do we know about this woman? Is she a decent person? Is there a way she’s after your money? What about her family?” Maria spouts question after question, her eyes bulging.
“Shit, this is worse than I thought,” Shaw says under his breath. “Actually, no, she’s not a decent person. She’s mean and calculating, and she wants more from me than I’m willing to give. She’s a local, a few years younger than me, went to school with Nick and Bizzy, but I didn’t know about her. There’s a good chance she’d like to get her hands on my money, but she comes from money herself.”
“Who is she?”
“Sasha Crane.”
I brace, watching the recognition wash over Maria’s face. She obviously remembers the name from my high school troubles.
“I see,” is all she says.
More silence passes as the temperature in the room drops with the announcement hanging in the air. I move off Shaw’s lap, feeling the need to leave the family alone for a few minutes.
“Where are you going?” He clutches onto my wrist.
“I’m going to the kitchen. You need some time with your parents,” I say softly.
“You don’t need to leave, Bizzy. You’re a part of this family. I think we’re in shock,” Seth tells me.
“No, really, I’ll be in the kitchen,” I try again.
“How do you feel about this, Lizbeth?”
Oh shit, Maria rarely uses my formal name. Usually, it’s reserved for times of joy, but now, it’s more authoritative, reminding me of my own mom. I glance at her and see a touch of sadness, but I also see the ferocity of a woman I’ve known for many years.
I square my shoulders and give her the truth. “To say I’m hurt is an understatement. I didn’t take the news well. I wasn’t sure I could handle it. My very first thoughts were that our relationship was over. I still have my reservations.”
Shaw leaps to his feet, but I move quickly, throwing a hand at him to stop. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his mouth opening to argue, but I don’t dare look at him.
“The reality is it happened when Shaw and I weren’t together. He’s apologized more than one man should have to in his lifetime. He’s held me close and listened to me cry and pour my fears into words. Then he dried my tears and didn’t let go. I may be naïve to think we can make this work, but I’m not ready to let go of him. I love him; I’ve always loved him. He says he loves me—”
“Fiercely,” he cuts me off. “I love you, fiercely.”
“So we’re going to take this day by day. Regardless of my thoughts on Sasha Crane, I’m standing by his side. It’s not always going to be easy, but I think, eventually, the wound will heal.”
“I need some time to process this,” Maria says sadly, wiping a tear from her eye.
“Mom, I’ve never been so ashamed of my actions.” Shaw goes to her and squats, taking her hands in his. “But I’m going to do this the right way.”
“Of course you are, but I can’t believe you’re having a baby.”
Hearing her say it slays into me, and I clench my arms around my waist to keep from bending over in pain. Shaw is too focused on his mom to notice, but Seth comes to me immediately.
“Sweet, sweet Bizzy.” He kisses my forehead as tears sting my eyes.
“I’ll be okay.”
“You aren’t okay, but I’m always here if you need me. We’ll all get through this.”
I nod and lay my head on his shoulder, like so many times in the past. The strength and unity I had in the car seems to disappear. Seeing Seth and Maria’s reaction made this more real than even telling my mom. They are going to be grandparents. Shaw is going to be a dad.
Where does this leave me? For the first time, I realize we may not all get through this… together.