can take without flying off the rails. My patience and tolerance with her is already thin, but now, I want to find a way to punish her for every single horrible thing she has done. If I could go back in time, knowing all this, she’d regret the day she decided to fuck with you. I’d make her life a living hell for even breathing in your presence. My gut is twisted with so much disgust in myself.”
“Oh,” is all I can rasp out with his entire body covering mine.
“Lizbeth Hastings, look at me,” he demands, and I shudder at the fire in his eyes.
“After tonight, we leave those demons at the door. She’s not taking any more precious moments from your life. I’m here now, and as old-fashioned as it sounds, I’m going to protect you.”
“She’s having your child, Shaw. The fact alone kills me inside.”
He lays his forehead to mine, and his chest vibrates in anger. One hand comes to my cheek as he takes a few deep breaths.
“I’m at a loss about this. I don’t know how to process it all. I want to make her pay for every tear you’ve shed, every doubt you’ve had, and every bad memory she caused. Hearing your words tonight has fueled a rage in me I’ve never felt before. Knowing that I’m asking you to endure this with me is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.
“But I’m a son of a bitch, and I’m asking. Stand by me. Don’t let my idiot lapse of judgment cause me to lose you, because I can honestly say, I don’t know if I can survive without you anymore. You are my everything.”
“Shaw—” My head is buzzing from the wine, and I really am struggling to catch my breath with his weight bearing down on me.
He shifts a little, giving me some comfort, but his arms squeeze tighter.
“Tell me what to do here. Do you want me to relinquish all rights?”
Never in all our talks, or even with the shock in knowing he was having a baby with another woman, have I even considered he’d give up the baby. His words are filled with so much agony and insecurity.
He doesn’t mean them; it’s written all over his face. I feel like a selfish bitch for even making him say them out loud.
“Shaw, that has never crossed my mind. You are not that kind of man. You are a man of honor and integrity. What would that say about me? No, baby, I don’t want you to relinquish anything. If you did, I’d leave you without turning back because you’d be a terrible person.”
His eyes search mine, relief washing over his face. “I’ll fight forever, ‘til my last dying breath, to prove to you how special you are to me. No one is ever going to take you away, especially not her. I love you with all my heart.”
“I know you do.” I close my eyes and let his words settle over me. “And I love you, too.”
“What can I do to show you? How can I bring you above this, make you see our future is still ours?”
A familiar need starts to coil inside, reminding me that Shaw not only owns my heart, but also my body. The emotional connection has never faltered, but the physical one has suffered.
“Make love to me, now. Prove to me that you still belong to me.” My foot skates up his leg and around his thigh, drawing him into me.
His eyes grow wide, lust glowing in them.
“Take her out of my mind. I need to have all of you, Shaw, know you’ll be mine. You can’t change what happened in the past, but I’m too far gone to lose you.”
“How many times do I have to tell you? You’re never losing me,” he rumbles, lowering his mouth to mine.
I clear my mind and let him make love to me, knowing we both need to feel this closeness.
“If you walk into Maria’s house with that look on your face, she and Seth are going to know right away something’s wrong.” I reach over and pry one of Shaw’s hands off the steering wheel and lace his fingers in mine.
“Something is wrong,” he snaps at me then squeezes my hand in an apologetic gesture. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Thank you for coming with me. It means a lot.”
“Hey.” I slide forward and catch his eye. “I’m here for you, meaning the good and the bad.”