“I can’t.” My head falls back, and his mouth goes to my throat.
He speeds up, rocking hard against me. His grip on my ass turns into a pleasurable pain. I try to hold out, but it’s useless and I scream his name as I shatter.
One orgasm turns into two until I’m writhing against him, drowning in his possession. He growls against my neck and stills, his dick throbbing inside me as I feel every pulse of his own release.
We stay like this until the muscles in my thighs quiver and give out, my legs dropping. Somehow, he maneuvers us off the desk and finds his chair, sitting with me still clutching his head.
“Next time, I’m bending you over the desk from the other side so I can watch.” He kisses along my neck.
“Sounds fun.”
“You’ve just made every man’s fantasy come alive. Every time I sit at this desk, I’ll think about you naked and begging for my dick.”
“I was supposed to seduce you, not the other way around.”
“You can’t come in here wearing that dress and nothing else, and expect me to not lose control.”
“Hmmm,” is all I can mumble.
“Besides, I’m sure once we have kids, office sex will become frequent.”
I freeze as ice water runs through my veins, taking my bliss with it.
My pulse races for a different reason, and I tense in his arms. My heart is on the brink of splintering apart. What will we do about children?
It’s easy, Bizzy. Stick to the facts. He’s going to understand… but what if he doesn’t?
I keep replaying this same conversation in my mind as I pace around Shaw’s living room. This is something I’ve been scared of for many years but never had a reason to discuss it—until now. When the man you’re madly in love with mentions he wants kids, it’s time to tell him and give him the option to move on.
The key turns in the lock, and my nerves shoot to an all-time high as Shaw walks in with a determined look on his face. He drops his briefcase and kicks the door closed with his foot. I go still, unable to move as he stalks to me, picks me up, and walks us back to the couch.
He drops down, caging me in with his arms. I barely breathe when he lifts my chin and forces me to look at him. His eyes pierce into mine.
“Shaw, is everything okay?”
“You tell me.” His voice is husky, sending my already anxious nerves into overdrive.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve been acting different since we left my office two nights ago. Something’s on your mind, and the possibilities are about to drive me insane.”
“Possibilities?” I question weakly.
“Yes, Bizzy, possibilities. There are an infinite amount of possibilities of what’s wrong with you. The cancer is back, you’ve met someone else, or maybe I was too rough with you… That’s naming a few.”
My heart drops at the assumptions he’s jumping to. I wrestle my arms free and grasp his cheeks, scraping my fingernails in his stubble the way he likes. “No, sweetheart, it’s none of those. I’m still cancer-free, there is no other man on this earth for me but you, and you’re never too rough with me. I thought it was hot. The hottest sex I’ve ever had.”
“Well, what is it? Why have you been so closed off?”
I take a deep breath and lay my forehead against his. “I freaked out when you mentioned children.” I rush through the admission.
“You don’t want children?” There’s confusion in his question.
“I do. More than anything, I want children with you.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know if I can have children. The chemo may have damaged my ability to get pregnant. I’ve never had a reason to check into it before, but I’ve always known it was a possibility I’d have fertility issues.” I brace, ready for any reaction.
“So, we’ll adopt.”
My head snaps up in disbelief. “What?”
“We adopt if you can’t have children. That’s a simple solution.”
“You’d do that? Don’t you want your own children?”
“Well, that’s a double-sided question. Yes, I’d adopt. As for my own children, of course I want my own, but I want my own with you. So if you can’t get pregnant, we become parents a different way.”
Tears cloud my vision as a small cry escapes.
“Jesus Christ, you thought I’d have a different reaction?”
“I didn’t know how you’d feel. It’s a scary thing to know I may not be able to give you what you want.”