remained quiet, sweeping up the glass and ushering them quickly out of my room. I replaced the frame and had the entire place cleaned the next day.
Sasha has made several snide comments, referencing the status of my relationship with Bizzy. She thinks she won by chasing her off. It’s written all over her face every time I see her. Her self-righteous attitude is driving me insane. It’s all I can do not to lash out and tell her she’s wrong, but then I think about my son.
I’m not stupid nor blind. Sasha’s trying to worm her way into my personal life. She’s hinted for weeks about being invited on my boat and attending football games with my family. It’s hard to hold my tongue, but I remain quiet, which fuels her excitement.
I’ve turned into that guy… the one who seems spineless, never speaking up or arguing.
When I look in the mirror, I hardly recognize myself. The man I was, living with Bizzy in Charlotte, seems like a ghost. All the memories are fading quickly as my days are filled with work and endless calls from Sasha, requesting something else absurd. Each time, I falter, agreeing.
God, Bizzy. I miss her so much it physically hurts. Will she ever forgive me? Can I even ask her to?
I glance at my watch and force myself to stand, knowing I’m already late. The familiar pain in my chest returns as I think about doing this without Bizzy.
Every year, our families, along with a few other volunteers, hand out presents on Christmas Eve to the kids on the oncology floor. It’s a tradition, a tradition Bizzy never misses. Until this year.
“You’re going to be late.”
I jerk my head to see Claire standing in my doorway, along with my mom. Both their expressions are full of worry and concern.
“What are y’all doing here?” I look past them at the darkened office. Everyone went home hours ago.
“We need to talk.” Claire barges in and stops when she hits my desk, leaning in and glaring. “Are you going to make this right?”
“I assume you mean Bizzy?”
“No, you fucking dumbass, I mean world hunger. Of course I mean Bizzy!” She shoots my mom an apologetic look, which earns her a shrug.
“Yes, I don’t know how, but I am.” I point to the ticket on my desk. “I’ve been planning on flying into Charlotte tomorrow. I need to see her, talk to her, try and explain. I’m walking a very tight rope right now. Bizzy doesn’t need to be in the crossfire.”
“You don’t give her much credit. After all you’ve put her through, you’d think this shit would be over.”
“That’s why I’m treading lightly. I think I finally understand what everyone has been saying. My life is changing. Can I bring her down with me?”
“Crenshaw Bennett,” my mom walks straight to me and puts her hands on my shoulders, “you’ve really taken our conversation out of context. I had no idea you’d shut Lizbeth out. How could you?”
I’m too ashamed to tell her everything I’ve been thinking.
“Honey, tell me this. Do you still love her?”
“So much it hurts.”
“What about your son?”
“More than I ever knew was possible.”
“So tell her. She’s not an idiot, Shaw. She knew this was coming. She tried to explain this, but you were so focused on other things that you ignored her warnings.”
“Well, whatever shit is going through your head needs to get cleared up quick. I don’t like the fact that she’s spending Christmas alone. More than that, things are changing in Charlotte, and if you stand a chance in hell, you’d better clean up your act immediately,” Claire seethes.
“What do you mean?”
“Bizzy was asked to stay.”
My heart sinks, but I know how much she loves her position. It’s the only positive thing she tells me about when we speak. “Maybe it’s for the best. Stay for a little longer. I’ll straighten my shit up here.”
“No, you dimwit asshole! She’s been given an offer to stay, as in permanently!”
My heart starts to race, and I fight to clear the spots clouding my vision.
“Bullfuckingshit! She’s not leaving Miami! There’s no way she’s staying in Charlotte!”
“Well, stop being a pansy ass and go get her. I’ll never, ever forgive you if she stays up there.”
“You don’t have to worry. I’ll have her ass back in Miami if I have to drag her kicking and screaming!” I gather my laptop and barely hear the women through the roaring in my head.