Hot Mess - Elise Faber Page 0,21
not fair—”
She snorted. “I stopped believing in fair a long time ago.” Just like she’d stopped believing in him. “Figure out your own life, Brian, and leave me to mine.”
“I’m traveling—”
She hung up with shaking fingers, both because the anger was fading and also because adrenaline had filled her system, leaving her jittery. She could not believe she’d just done that. She was really freaking proud of herself for doing it, took definite pleasure in both cutting him off multiple times, as well as the hanging up . . . but she still couldn’t believe she’d done it.
Go her.
She was moving forward, growing some of that spine she wanted to pass on to Ry.
She was making progress. Finally.
“I miss Daddy.”
Three words that were the gut punch to end all gut punches.
Because . . . well, Shannon didn’t miss Brian anymore. She’d long since moved beyond missing her asshole ex-husband.
But she hated that Ry missed him, that Ry missed him being here for these events.
The first day of school.
He’d missed kindergarten.
He was now missing first grade.
God, how had she wasted so many years with such a fucking jerk? The only good thing was that because Ry was in first this year, Shan thought she should be less of a mess than last year.
Less being no tears.
“I know, honey,” she said gently. “Your dad wishes he could be here. You know that. He’s just really busy at work.”
Ry made a face. “He’s always busy at work.”
Yeah. He was.
And with his other family.
Shannon knew that it was only a matter of time before Ry discovered that, and she wanted to shield her daughter from that for as long as possible. But she also knew that someday Ry would find out, and her daughter would be hurt, possibly devastated . . . and it would be because Shannon had picked the wrong guy to place her trust in.
Fuck, that was painful.
Her only hope was that she could protect Rylie for as long as possible.
No. Her task wasn’t to protect Ry so much as it was for her to make her daughter strong enough to not need Brian in her life. To recognize it would be great to have people in it who cared for her, but that she didn’t need them to be happy.
Which meant Shan needed to learn how to do the same.
Be thankful for the good people but not desperate. Not build the foundation of her life on someone else’s shoulders.
It had to come from her first.
“Let’s make a tradition,” she said, grabbing Ry’s lunchbox from the fridge and helping her zip it into her backpack.
“What’s a tradition?”
“It’s something special we can do every year on the first day of school. We can get ice cream, or I can make you peanut butter milk, or we can go to the park.” Shannon lightly squeezed Rylie’s shoulders. “It’ll be something fun and special, and just the two of us.”
Her daughter’s expression screwed up. “Just us?”
She nodded. “Just us.”
“Can we go buy socks?”
Shannon’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You always say that a pair of cozy socks makes you feel better,” Rylie said. “So, I want a pair of cozy socks.”
Cozy socks were something Shan was addicted to, although they weren’t exactly conducive to this beach life.
But her daughter wanted a pair of socks.
She couldn’t get Brian here, but she could damn well find Ry the coziest pair of socks on the planet.
“Yeah, baby,” she said, standing up. “After school, you and I will go to Sock-a-Palooza”—the tourist sock shop in downtown Stoneybrook—“and we’ll find you some cozy socks.”
“And you, too, Mommy,” she said, slipping her backpack onto her shoulders. “It’s your first day of school, too. You need cozy socks.”
“Okay.” She nodded, grabbed her coffee mug, her own lunchbox. “School. Socks. Pizza for dinner.”
“Pizza!” A beat. “With extra pineapple?”
Shan bit back a shudder, considering she was firmly in the camp that pineapple on pizza was disgusting. “Absolutely.”
“Yes!” Rylie pushed out the front door. “This is going to be the best day ever!”
Shan followed her, locking up, waving to Finn when she saw him drinking a cup of coffee on his front deck. But they didn’t stop, instead turning toward the boardwalk that would take them from the beach and toward school.
They got there early enough for her to see Rylie off to the playground and for her to finish her coffee before the first bell rang.
And then she went out to gather her third graders.
Who were miraculously lined up in the proper spot with mostly smiling