moved in together. We drove to the airport and said goodbye at check-in, not knowing if we’d see each other in two hours or three days.
“Fingers crossed.” Mina kissed me, then turned to the guy on the desk, clasping her hands together in front of her in mock prayer. “Whatever you can do, yeah? I quite like this one.” I caught a cheeky wink before her emerald-green overcoat swished around and she walked toward security, her wheeled case following demurely. Her hair, which only a few hours previously had been spread across my pillow, was tamed into a neat bun at the nape of her neck, half a can of hairspray choking up the bathroom.
At the gate, I fiddled with my passport as everyone lined up, then disappeared through the tunnel. I stared through the window at the World Airlines plane waiting on the tarmac, picturing Mina welcoming passengers and checking boarding passes.
“Final call for passenger Williams.”
As the announcement faded, I listened for running feet. I looked around at those still seated, for the shocked face of someone lost in another world. So sorry, I was miles away… No problem, sir. Let’s get you boarded. I tried to catch the eye of the staff member on the desk, to remind her I was there, but she was deep in conversation. The flight was due to leave in ten minutes.
I’d call up the lads, I decided, if I didn’t get on. See who was around for a beer, rather than moping around in the flat. It’d be a laugh. Might even be more fun than a weekend in Rome.
“Final call for passenger Williams. The flight is now boarded and ready to depart. Final call, passenger Williams.”
More fun? Who was I kidding? A year ago, a few beers and a kebab with the boys from work would have been my idea of a perfect night out, but now I was head over heels. Never mind Rome—I’d spend a week on standby for one night in Skegness with Mina.
“Adam Holbrook?” Not the PA system this time but a shout from the desk. I stood up so fast, I tripped over my hand luggage, dropping my phone and the magazine I’d bought for the journey. The flight operative laughed. “I was going to say it’s your lucky day, but I’m not so sure now.”
“I’m going?”
“You’re going.”
I boarded to two hundred filthy looks from passengers who took me for the tardy Williams, grinning at Mina as she ran through the safety briefing she once did naked for me, standing over me in bed with a glass of champagne in one hand. The emergency sexits are situated here, here, and here…
It was the best weekend. The sort of weekend that goes too fast yet seems to last forever, where you never stop laughing, never stop talking. Our whole relationship felt like that.
Where did it go?
You broke it. And now you might never see her again.
I wish I knew what was happening with Mina right now. I curse the radio for the lack of updates. Why isn’t this all anyone’s talking about? How can Rise FM still be playing Christmas tunes and Marks & Spencer adverts when hundreds of people could be—
No! They’re not dead. Mina’s not dead.
I try to picture her, try to replace the horror in my mind with something hopeful, but all I’ve got is scenes from disaster movies. Guns. Bombs. Planes exploding, diving, slicing through buildings…
I screw my eyes tighter, but the scenes keep coming, and with them, the knowledge that this is all my fault. If I hadn’t got into debt and lied to Mina, she’d still love me. If she loved me, she wouldn’t be on that plane.
I hadn’t been snooping. Mina had met us at the park, to take Sophia home, and I’d persuaded her to come with us for an ice cream. She’d perched on the edge of her chair the whole time, checking her watch and asking Sophia if she’d nearly finished. The pattern was always the same: me stalling for more time, Mina itching to get away. If we could just spend the day together… But Mina wouldn’t even consider it.
“I need space,” she kept saying.
“How about we do something next month?” I’d said last time I’d seen her. “When Sophia’s in school all day. The arboretum, maybe, once the leaves are turning. You love it there.” I thought I saw regret in her eyes as she said no, but perhaps it was wishful thinking on my