want. Once I do this, I’ll be able to get my academic brain back on more important matters. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. But the simple truth is, I want this.
I want him.
He angles his head, his lips so close to mine. I can almost taste his minty toothpaste. His soft knuckles send shivers through me as he runs them over my arm. “Fast isn’t good when you’re innocent,” he whispers, his tender voice a low, soft whisper.
My heart melts at his concern for me. Beneath it all, this man is so damn sweet, and if I know what’s good for me, I’ll run the other way. But his tenderness is messing with me, making me wonder if I can separate the physical from the emotional if we crawl between his sheets. Even if I wanted to bolt, I’m not sure I can force my legs to carry me out of this room.
“I’m not that innocent. I’ve had sex before.” A moment of silence, then he exhales a relieved breath. I’m not sure why my virginity—or lack thereof—is such a big deal to him, but it is admirable that he didn’t want to take it from me. “You’re not my first,” I assure him.
“Good, because your first should be with someone special. Someone you love.” His hot gaze moves over my mouth, and I wet my bottom lip, preparing it for him.
“He wasn’t special, and I didn’t love him, and the whole thing was awful. I told you I was inexperienced, because I…I guess…I don’t know why. I was nervous. Worried I’d botch it like I did last time. Then how would I be able to look at you come morning, let alone continue to cohabitate?” I draw my bottom lip between my teeth and glance down. Ribbons of worry wrap around me, and my cheeks flush with heat. “I don’t think I’m very good at this.”
Why am I telling him all this?
He cups my chin, lifts it until our eyes meet. His brow furrows, and everything in his look suggests that I’m insane to worry, and that sex between us is going to be phenomenal.
“You just haven’t been with the right guy,” he says, and he’s not being arrogant or egotistical, he’s just being honest.
Confident.
Damned if I don’t like a man who’s sure of himself.
“Are you the right guy?” I ask, his certainty cocooning my worries.
“I want to rock your world, Kira. If you’ll let me.”
I relax into him, my entire body shuddering, as those billowing ribbons of nervousness flutter away.
“Rock away, Nate.”
He hesitates for a second, his brow furrowed as he looks over my shoulders toward his open door. “We probably shouldn’t let the others know. They might think of you as a sister, but I sure as hell don’t, and it could make things uncomfortable around here. I don’t want them to think I’m taking advantage of you or this situation.”
“Our secret,” I say. “And in no way do I think about you as a brother. The others, yes, but not you, Nate. Never you.”
“Good.”
Touch me already.
He opens his mouth like he wants to say something, and I press my fingers to his lips. “No more questions. This is a secret, sex only, no-expectation hookup.”
“We keep it casual,” he adds.
“Yes, casual.”
“Thank God. Formal sex sucks.” He slides his hand down my back, and I shiver at the heat of his touch. “I hate wearing a tux.”
I chuckle at that. “Casual sex with a timeline. I leave here next month, and you’ll be shipping off to the next seasonal spot.”
“About that—”
“You will be leaving, right?”
“Yes, but—”
I close my mouth over his, and his words turn to a moan, whatever he was about to say long forgotten. His hand goes around my head, and his fingers grip my neck as he deepens the kiss and slides his tongue into my mouth. The soft blade teases me, fills me with a new kind of hunger.