to the city limits. The first thing I notice is a work truck with a ladder on it. Wow, Brad got workmen out here to fix that stupid billboard faster than usual. He’s probably intimidated by the size of the penis I drew. I might have enjoyed that little joke at his expense, if not for the quarterback with the red Bugatti.
Cash.
I pull up behind him and just stare for a moment. The man looks better than he has a right to, casually leaning against his car in that worn leather bomber jacket with the early December wind blowing through his hair. It would be so easy to run into his arms and act like the last ten days hadn’t happened. But they did. And because they did, things need to be said before anybody goes running anywhere.
“Hey.” His upturned lips make my ovaries do high kicks. I shut those hussies down quick. If he thinks he can just shoot me that panty-melting grin and everything is forgiven between us, then he’s most definitely mistaken.
“Hey.” I shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket, as much to keep from reaching for him as to ward off the cold. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see a girl.”
“Oh, yeah? Why?” There are workmen around, but I barely register their presence because all of my focus is hanging on his answer to that question.
“Because I treated her like she wasn’t the most important thing in the world to me, and I need to beg her forgiveness in person.”
“You’re right. You did.” My stupid heart pleads with me to give him a pass, and just forgive him already, but I have to know if he really means what he says.
He studies the toe of his boot while he pushes at some gravel on the shoulder of the road. Several seconds pass. I want to fill the silence, but I don’t. This is his moment. Amber eyes finally meet mine, and he exhales. “For as long as I can remember there’s always been this sense that I’m not enough. Like if I could throw one more perfect spiral, win one more title, earn another million dollars, then I would be finally be enough, you know?”
I nod because I do know. We’ve both struggled with that in different ways.
“Yeah, I guess you do know.” He studies the toe of his boot again. “But the difference between the two of us is that you were self-aware enough to realize it and do what you had to do to fix the problem. I just kept running from those feelings and filling that void with all the things that I thought made me special. The problem is, that pit is bottomless. So when my back was against the wall, and I thought I might lose my place at the table, I used you in the worst way. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know, especially because of how hard you’ve worked to rebuild your life. You’ve filled it with things and people that will last, and I want to be one of those people. If you’ll still have me.”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out because my heart is jammed in my throat.
He cautiously takes the fingers of my hand in his. “I’m also sorry that I’m just now getting to town. I had some meetings.”
My gaze is locked on our hands. “I understand. It’s your team.”
He places his knuckles under my chin and raises my face to meet his. “It wasn’t the whole team. I met with Ray and Kyle and then my PR team to tell them that I’m retiring after this season.”
“What?”
“I’m retiring and moving back home to Ryder.” He searches my shocked face. “I was hoping you’d be happier about this than you appear to be.”
“I’m just … stunned.” I shake my head to make sure I’m not in some outlandish dream. “But why? The game couldn’t have gone any better. Surely you’ve gotten your starting spot back on the team.”
“I have, and I’ll see the Thunder through the playoffs, but once this season is done, so am I. I’m tired of putting my body through the punishment, and I have other things I really want to do.”
“You do?” I’m having trouble keeping up with all the revelations being shared.
“I want to run my foundation, work with the kids at the rec center, and cook dinner for Elva every once in a while. And I want to be with you for as