Home For The Holidays - Jordan Silver Page 0,62

The place looked like what you’d expect Xmas to be. I can imagine our sons and daughter playing under that tree or one like it since the thing was real.

Samantha introduced me to her mom and brother, who spent the first few seconds trying to place my name before putting his foot in his mouth, it seemed. “You’re Jared Macalister? Didn’t you used to date Tessa?”

“How do you know about that? I never told you that.” Tessa jumped up from her seat, and Tom looked like he’d swallowed something bad. The plot thickens.

Tom

I knew something was wrong the second I came downstairs and joined the women in the great room. Tessa seemed jumpy and nervous while Sam was all but bursting at the seams. It’s her look of extreme excitement, one where it looks like she’s about to jump out of her skin. I was even more convinced that Sam had something to do with Tessa’s uneasiness when she tried to convince me to leave.

I stared at her blankly for a minute, not quite believing the nerve but also realizing that this wasn’t the first time she’d pulled a stunt like this. In fact, she’s been leading me around by my nose for the better part of two years. How had I not seen it before? I can blame the first year or so on the alcohol that I’d consumed to numb the pain of betrayal.

But what about after? This past year when I was finally getting myself back together again? What have I become that this woman would believe she had the power to drag me away from my family at this time of year? A time that I had assured her was the most important to my mother and was the reason for me refusing to go away like she wanted to for the holiday.

I shudder to think that even a day ago, I might’ve given in. Even though I’d come to accept that she wasn’t the woman for me, that I had no real feelings for her, I still felt like I owed her a debt of gratitude. And now? Now my eyes went to the stairs where I’d just left those two little girls that might be mine.

The thought made me want to throw up. This is part of my problem. If I accept that those girls are mine, then I have to accept that the last two years were a lie and that Deidre had been telling the truth when she said that that Troy guy had kissed her out of nowhere, that that day had been the first time she’d seen him since they broke up years earlier, before she met me.

How can I reconcile that truth with the one I believed for so long? I feel torn like something is pulling me apart from the inside. I was never the kind of man to walk away from my responsibilities, so how can I now accept that I believed a lie and destroyed my family? All these thoughts ran through my head as I looked at Tessa, who was awaiting an answer.

“Did Sam say something to you?” no doubt she’ll expect me to defend her, but I no longer have it in me. After our talk upstairs, I can see my sister’s point, and the things that pissed me off two years ago when my family decided to stay close to Deidre no longer seemed to matter.

Deidre! My heart hurt just thinking of her. There’ve been so many times in the last few months when I was tempted to go to her. I even dropped in on mom on days that I knew Deidre usually came by, but for some reason, she was never here. I’d been longing for the sight of her in the last two years, but not once has she let me see her. Now she’s out with some guy doing who knows what, and it’s killing me.

“You know very well your sister’s a bitch.” How did I convince myself that she could ever be part of my family? All this time and she hasn’t yet figured out that Samantha, the baby, is also part of the heart of the family. Her words only helped to further tear the veil from off my eyes. I think I messed up really bad here.

“Don’t talk about my sister like that.” Her look of surprise was satisfying but not nearly enough. “Now, why are you in such an all-fired rush to leave?” Before she