Benny gives a hint of a smile. “I think I know where this is going.”
I blink. “Where is this going?”
He lifts his chin. “Go ahead.”
My shoulders are slowly hunching higher and higher on my neck in preemptive regret, but I wince it out: “I was thinking maybe you could cosign a loan for me to buy the cabin?” His expression shifts. I’ve clearly surprised him, so I rush to add, “I can probably cover the down payment—I’ve saved. And once I have a new job, I can pay the mortgage. I live at home, I don’t have any expenses really. I’m sure I’ll find a job relatively quickly, and it would just be cosignature, I swear.”
He’s still frowning, and I am mortified but push on. “You could live here rent free and just do your Benny thing. Play your guitar. Putz around. I’d pay the mortgage and as I save, maybe I can pay for larger things, too. It would be an investment. I also realize this is dependent on what they’re asking—okay, it’s dependent on a lot of things . . .” I pause to finally take a breath. “I just don’t want us to lose this place.”
“I don’t want us to lose it, either.” He studies me for a few quiet seconds. “It matters to you that you own it?”
I shake my head. “I mean, I know that owning a home— especially an old one, and especially in another state—isn’t easy. But if you lived here, maybe it would be easier? I don’t know. I realize this sounds crazy, and to be honest the details only occurred to me about a half hour ago. It’s not so much about me owning it as it is about all of us having this place to come together. I do ultimately think this is one of the things I was sent back to fix.”
He nods like he understands. “I see.”
“Think about it,” I say, quickly adding, “Or don’t. I mean, I have no idea if I’ve insulted you, or—”
“You haven’t in the slightest.”
“—or whether this is even something people do?” I grimace apologetically. “I feel really naive all of a sudden.”
“I’m sorry,” he says with a smile, and then leans forward, taking my hands. “You haven’t insulted me, and you don’t sound naive at all, honey. I wasn’t trying to let you flounder; I was trying to figure out your motivations and whether I would be taking something away from you that I hadn’t considered.”
“Taking—?” I shake my head. “I don’t understand.” “Taking your opportunity to own this place. I’ve already made an offer to Ricky and Lisa.”
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out except for a wheezy zombie creak. Finally, “An offer on the cabin?”
He squeezes my hands. “The first time you lived through this week, you didn’t know until the last day that Ricky and Lisa were selling it. And I mean, who knows? Maybe I would have stepped in later and made an offer, but I know myself. I’m hesitant to make commitments to big things. Maybe I would have just been sad like the rest of us, and briefly considered buying it, but by the time I got back to Portland I bet I’d have talked myself out of it. But you told me the very first day. So,” he says, and smiles again, “I was here all week, thinking about how much I love this place and trying to imagine never being here with all of you again. Knowing what was coming made it easier for me to get used to the idea of taking that leap. And it also let me pry a little with Ricky.” His smile turns wolfish. “Subtly, of course. Just a question here or there.”
“I’m sorry.” I hold my hands out, unwilling to unleash the euphoria. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’m buying the cabin.”
I bolt out of my seat, tackling him in a hug. His chair cracks and breaks; we fall in a dusty tumble to the wood floor.
“I take it that’s okay with you?” Benny laughs beneath me.
• • •
I’m confident that my next conversation cannot top the perfection of how things just went with Benny, but I’m relieved that when Theo sees me come down into the basement, he doesn’t stand up to immediately leave.
In fact, he smiles.
He sits up at the small card table, wearing a Captain America Christmas sweater that looks at least one size too small and