In A Holidaze - Christina Lauren Page 0,61
T-shirt, seeking warmth. He swallows a groan, and distracts me momentarily with a deep, searching kiss that makes an ache drop from my pounding heart into my navel. “I don’t want everyone to get overly invested before we even know what this is.”
From Andrew’s nod, I know I don’t have to explain myself. I grew up with a prime example of a relationship that didn’t work. Even the simplest of breakups can get messy, and I don’t want anyone here to feel forced to choose sides if this doesn’t work out perfectly right out of the gate.
Resting his lips just at the corner of my mouth, he says, “Then why don’t we just keep following this for a bit before we say anything to anyone? I’m so happy right now I feel hammered. But I’ll try to play it cool.”
The problem is, I don’t know how to do that, either. I’ve essentially handed my heart over to the person who’s had it on reserve for half my life, and I’m terrified that he doesn’t realize what he’s holding.
Footsteps come to a stop just a few feet away from where we’re hiding in the curtains, and Andrew goes still, eyes wide. My lungs turn to concrete.
“Hello, whoever is there,” Andrew says, wincing. “Was just, uh, checking this window lock.” As he reaches past me to rattle the lock, we stare wide-eyed at each other, probably both praying that it’s Kennedy or Zachary and we can pretend to be playing Sardines again.
But then a throat clears, and I have to admit neither of the twins would clear their throat and sound like a grown man.
“I know a good locksmith.”
Benny.
Andrew throws back the curtain, blowing out an enormous breath. “Oh, thank fuck.”
Benny laughs. “Should I even ask? What were you two doing in the curtain?”
I put a hopeful shine on my words: “Fixing locks?”
But Benny’s not having it. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
“Making out,” Andrew says with a shrug. “But you are sworn to secrecy.”
“I feel like I’m carrying a lot of secrets lately.” Benny eyes me sideways.
Andrew notices and looks back and forth between the two of us. “What’s going on?”
I shrug like, Benny said it, not me.
“Mae’s going through some stuff.”
“Good or bad?” Andrew asks, turning to me, immediately concerned that I’m hiding something from him.
“Oh . . . I’d wager good,” Benny says, raising his eyebrows meaningfully at me.
Over Andrew’s shoulder, I give Benny the thumbs-up. Behind Andrew’s back, Benny does a dorky little dance of celebration. He stops abruptly when Andrew turns back to him. “But I was coming to warn you guys that Miles is looking for Mae.”
“And you knew to find us in the curtains?” I ask him.
Benny turns to leave and grins at us over his shoulder. “It was pretty easy to follow the giggles.”
• • •
I find my brother on the porch, sitting on the swing, scrolling through his phone. He looks up when he hears my footsteps and drops it into his jacket pocket, tucking his hands between his knees. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
It’s freezing out here, and fresh out of the shower, I feel like I’ve just stepped into a walk-in freezer. Teeth chattering, I cup one hand around my warm mug of coffee and use the other to zip my parka up to my chin.
“Benny said you were looking for me.”
Miles pauses, blushing, and in an instant I know what this is about. Why didn’t I see this coming?
I sit down next to him on the swing, bumping his shoulder with mine. “What’s up?”
“I was right last night, wasn’t I?” he asks, and then looks at me. My brother got our mother’s enormous eyes and he knows how to use them. He can make them round with innocence or narrow them in mischief. Right now, he winces a little, looking mortified to be asking me this but also, I know, hoping I won’t lie to him.
“Right about what?” I ask, wanting to be sure.
“That you and Andrew are hooking up.”
“Yes,” I say simply.
“Does Theo know?”
A defensive wave sweeps briefly over me. “No. And please don’t tell him. If we decide this is going anywhere, we’ll tell everyone ourselves.”
Miles nods at this and turns his eyes out to the snow-covered front yard. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing here?”
“Not really.”
“Because you know Mom will have no chill about this.”
The thing about moving home is that I went from independent adult back into kid mode. Mom still does most of