“No, not that,” I said, shaking my head, wondering if I was in some weird dream. “What I meant was, I don’t understand why you are telling me all this. I know about weaknesses and Sciaths and all that, but what does that have to do with me? That’s all Holder stuff. I’m not a Holder.”
“But you are,” Chloe beamed, kneeling down next to me, her excitement growing. “You activated the Iris, or the Iris activated you I suppose, but either way it worked! Everyone thought it was Ryland, but it’s been you all the time! You’re the one the Order’s been waiting for!”
I stared blankly up at her, growing more confused by the second. They thought I was the one they needed? “No!” I shook my head as if to clear it. “No, that can’t be…” A small part of my mind remembered coming to that same conclusion just before blacking out, but honestly I’d been hoping that part had been a dream.
It had to be a dream, didn’t it? It was Ryland. He was the one they wanted. I’d spent weeks worrying about him – worrying about all this power that he supposedly held, worrying about his safety and the man who was after him, worrying about his future and everything that was expected of him – only to now find out that it was me?
But then, that would mean… Ryland was safe. That he was normal. (Well, relatively normal, anyway.)
No one wanted to kill him.
No one wanted his ability for their own.
No one was depending on him to save the world.
He was safe.
Safe – because they all wanted me.
I should have been happy at the prospect of taking his place in all this, and there was a large part of me that was truly relieved. For the moment however, that part was easily overwhelmed by the dry lump of terror swelling in the back of my throat.
“I can’t,” I whispered, beginning to shake. “I don’t know how… I… can’t…” The air started to rush faster and faster in and out of my mouth, as my mind spun around itself, trying desperately to find something solid to hold on to.
“Shush, now, off with you!” Min scolded Chloe, chasing her up off the floor and away from the couch. “Look now, you’ve upset her!”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe repented, biting her lip.
“Keep your giddy prattling to yourself, or I’ll send you off! She needs rest, not you yammering away, scaring the life out of her.”
“Sorry,” Chloe whispered, sitting on an armchair on the other side of the room. “I’ll be quiet, I promise.”
“Now, now,” Min said, turning her attention back to my panic attack. “Everything is all right – now,” she said, placing a hand on my chest, stopping my weak attempt to sit up. “Breathe through your nose and relax.”
“How can it be me?” I asked, ignoring her. “I’m a girl. You said that–”
“Yes, yes.” She stood and reached over my head, returning with a cup of something that smelled both sweet and sour. “Drink this.”
“No! Tell me what happened! Why did–?”
“I will tell you after you drink,” she said, with a look even a toddler would recognize as a “grandma loves you but she isn’t above spanking you” scowl.
I tried again to sit up, but couldn’t quite manage it, so she held the cup to my lips. Once she was satisfied with the amount I’d managed to choke down, and my breathing and pulse had resumed their normal rhythm, she put the cup on the floor and sat back in her chair with a sigh.
“Yes, you are a woman. And yes, it is true that throughout history, female Holders have never been blessed with the caliber of ability that men have been. I myself am extremely powerful for a woman, though I still could not compare to a male Alchemist, even if he were only half my age. But the fact that something has never happened before doesn’t make it impossible. You are the one we’ve been waiting for, that much is clear. And while we are sure of that, there is little else that we know for certain at this moment. Tomorrow, we are all to meet with Cormac, where he will read you and determine what it is you are actually capable of. For now, I have placed a charm on your Sciath that will block your ability entirely for everyone’s safety.”
“You don’t know what my ability is? Can’t you see it