I would have ever imagined. I’d expected to be little more than Ryland’s sister, but everyone made me feel so included and at home it was as though they were honestly happy to have me. Min always greeted me with a smile, Mr Anderson and Mr Reid held a permanent seat for me in whatever the daily game was, and Chloe was always happy to spend as much time with me as she could. Honestly, if she weren’t taking a few of the college-level courses that St Brigid’s offered, thus requiring her to go to class once or twice a day, I’d probably never be alone. Alex was worried that it bothered me, but I actually liked it. It made me feel wanted, and Lord knows I wasn’t getting that from Ry. The only time I even saw him was in the morning before he left for classes, and even that was only because I made a point of going to his dorm on my way back from breakfast each day to say hi. Normally I wouldn’t have been so clingy, but after those first few days I realized that if I didn’t make the effort I very well might not see him again until he graduated. Mr Popularity certainly wasn’t going to any lengths to seek me out. Which, I had to keep reminding myself, was good, even if a little annoying.
The one person who didn’t seem to want me around was Taron. He continued to ignore and/or sneer at me in derision every chance he got, but it didn’t bother me, as he was a jerk. I didn’t care how long he’d been with Jocelyn, or how trustworthy Alex said he was. To me, he’d been nothing but a gigantic ass, and I would continue to consider him as such until he gave me a reason to do otherwise – and I wasn’t holding my breath.
Last, but by no means least, there was Alex. I’d worried that after our almost-kiss, fantastically frustrating as it had been, that things would be awkward between us. However, when we’d met the following day he acted as though it had never happened, which was a relief…
… and, kind of annoying.
But as my only options were to either ask him outright about it, or ignore it and move on, I chose the latter. Better to be happy and enjoy what time with him I had, than to ruin everything by being needy.
We hung out together every day, without fail. Most days he would find me playing, judging, or just watching the Anderson/Reid game of the day. So often actually, that I came to expect him and started to look forward to that more than the game itself. He would arrive no later than four, and join us for a while. Sometimes he would play a round or two of whatever sport or contest we had going, then eventually he would casually ask if I wanted to take a walk. Sometimes we would in fact walk, while other times we’d find a seat somewhere and talk, or go to the cafeteria and grab dinner. But no matter what we ended up doing, it was always, hands down, my favorite part of the day.
The afternoon Alex didn’t come to the lounge at his usual time was the first day since we left Pittsburgh that I hadn’t seen him. I forced a smile through the last round of checkers, no longer in the mood, pulled on my jacket and walked out onto the porch, not really sure what to do with myself. Or more accurately, avoiding what I knew I should be doing with myself, which was go to the computer lab, finally make a decision about which school to attend in the spring, and send my enrolment forms in. I’d been thinking about it a lot over the past few days, and the fact of the matter was I was out of excuses. It was clear that Ryland was happy, and thanks to security updates from Min and a few conversations with Alex, I was actually beginning to believe that he was indeed safe here as well. Mom and I talked every few days, and I could tell that she was also doing well on her own and wouldn’t need my help at home anymore. Everyone was happy, and there was nothing holding me back.
So why couldn’t I do it?
Why couldn’t I bring myself to take the twenty minutes and send in an enrolment paper?