gotten over everything, or any of the other claims I’d spent years making. But I couldn’t.
As I stood there, looking at the father that I knew both so well and not at all, the man whom I’d both loved and hated, I realized that for the first time in almost ten years I didn’t want to be the tough one, or the strong one, or the one who was always in control.
I realized that, just for this moment, I didn’t want to pretend.
He didn’t hear me approach. I didn’t give him any kind of warning or apology; I simply leaned over… and hugged him.
At first he tensed – probably out of shock – but then slowly relaxed, bringing his arms up around me. His hug seemed wary at first, but soon became strong. Really strong. He was suddenly holding me so tight I could barely breathe.
“Mo ghile beag,” he whispered raggedly into my hair.
After a few moments we released each other. I turned and walked toward the door without so much as a glance backward. I stepped out of the office and began to make my way down the hall in a fog, staring at the floor.
Mo ghile beag.
28
“The plural of cactus is ‘cacti’ not ‘cactuses’, you illiterate oaf!” Mr Reid snapped, kinetically lifting the u, s, e, and s off of the Scrabble board and hurling them into Mr Anderson’s chest.
“No one says cacti! Never in my whole life have I heard anyone say cacti!”
“Of course not, you grew up in Scotland! You wouldn’t know a cactus if you were sitting on one!”
“I do believe ‘cacti’ is correct,” Cormac cut in timidly, holding his own tray of letters down against the table as though he thought they also might soon become projectiles.
As Mr Reid and Mr Anderson continued to argue, and Cormac tried in vain to keep the peace, I brought my legs up onto the ottoman I was seated on with an amused smile. I’d opted out of the evening’s Scrabble tournament, but was more than content to sit with Chloe and watch the grammatical high jinks unfold.
It was the morning of my first official day out of the infirmary, and I was feeling much better. My strength had returned almost entirely, finally allowing me to climb a flight of stairs without becoming winded, and take a shower without having to sit down and rest on the edge of the tub halfway through.
However, despite the fact that my physical being was almost one hundred percent, my emotional state – while much improved – was still far from perfect. It had been two days since my meeting with Jocelyn, followed by, bar none, the worst night of my life. After Alex had gotten me back to the infirmary, I’d basically spent the night blubbering, stammering, and sobbing, until finally passing out sometime in the wee hours, only to wake up the next morning dehydrated and puffy. Since then I’d been better, though I still wasn’t ready to actually see Jocelyn in person, which was why I was currently sitting in the lounge listening to this week’s Scrabble war instead of with Alex and Min in Jocelyn’s office hearing how the remainder of Taron’s reading had gone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever, but seeing him meant thinking about everything he’d told me, and right now that was all still too confusing. At some point I’d think about it and decide what I wanted to do with the information he’d given me, and, honestly, it would probably be someday soon.
Just not today.
But… soon.
“It’s twelve points, not nine!” Mr Anderson yelled, trying to snatch the score sheet and pencil away from Mr Reid.
“I see, so you can count, you just can’t spell?” snipped Mr Reid, holding the sheet behind him like a game of keep-away.
“For heaven’s sake!” Chloe chimed in, looking up from her history assignment. “Is it so hard to behave like men and not prattling boys?”
“Yes, exactly,” Reid agreed, waving at Anderson. “Stop acting like a child!”
“I’m a child?” Anderson retorted. “Perhaps you should take it like a man!”
“Bloody hell…” Chloe huffed, shoving away from the table and stomping across the lounge to the bookshelf.
“You’ll get nine points, or you’ll get none!” Reid said, pointing the tiny game pencil in Anderson’s face.
“Perhaps we could make it ten and a half?” Cormac suggested meekly. “You know, split the difference?”
“No!” both Anderson and Reid yelled simultaneously, glaring at poor Cormac like he was out of his mind.