Hold Me Close - Talia Hibbert Page 0,306

sometimes hope wasn’t enough.

Something was wrong with Zach.

Rae’s shoulders were cold and bare where his arm should rest. Her side missed the press of his body. Her mood dipped without regular shots of his smile. During the final hour of the ceremony, he clapped with robotic stiffness and held himself distant from her, while she worried and watched the clock. A handful of hours ago, she’d believed that this ceremony would be the worst kind of torture. And now, it was—but not for the reasons she’d expected.

In fact, concern for Zach aside, she felt kind of… powerful tonight. Maybe it was the stern pep talk she’d given herself in the bathroom before coming down. The one where she’d decided it was time to be truly brave, to tell Zach outright that she adored him, that she wanted to build something real and romantic with him. Something that felt impossible but might actually work.

Or maybe her iron spine came from the ceremony itself, and the knowledge that she’d made it. That she deserved to be here, and that this world wasn’t Kevin’s—it was hers.

Whatever the reason, she was eager to grab her happiness, and that happiness was Zach. So, when the ceremony wound up, she rushed her way through conversation with Neil and a few other writers. Congratulated acquaintances, accepted consolations, and clutched Zach’s cool, stiff hand as if they could communicate through their skin. It didn’t work.

She was so desperate to fix whatever had turned him to stone, she couldn’t even wait to drag him upstairs. Instead, she tugged him into a semi-private alcove, turning away from the crowd to cup his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

He tilted his head, just enough to shake her off. The movement was so subtle it might have been an accident, but something in her chest constricted.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said, but he was a terrible liar. It might’ve been funny if fear weren’t scuttling over her like spiders.

“Clearly it’s something,” she said, moving closer. But he flinched away, and she froze. Froze, curled up inside, and died. Still, she managed to speak calmly through sheer force of will. “You’re upset. Please tell me why.”

“This is your night,” he murmured. “We’ll do this another time. Tomorrow.”

For a moment, she thought that he knew—but of course he didn’t. He couldn’t. “Oh, come on. It’s not like I won.” She laughed, and meant it, because the fact didn’t bother her. Not anymore.

But Zach sighed, shook his head, and said, “Exactly,” as if she were seconds from a tragic breakdown. For heaven’s sake.

“It doesn’t matter what tonight is,” she frowned. “You can’t put your feelings on hold to avoid disrupting other people. Or maybe you can, but you shouldn’t, and I don’t want you to. Please, Zach. Tell me what’s wrong.”

An expression she couldn’t quite read passed over his face, something indefinable but achingly sad. Then he asked, “Are you still in love with Kevin?”

She jerked back, shocked. “No, I’m not. Why would you say that?”

“You have his book.” Zach’s voice was quiet but powerful, like the hiss of explosive gas from a broken pipe. “I saw it. You tried to hide it, remember? But I know it’s in your suitcase, and I saw how happy you were when he won—”

“No,” Rae interrupted through numb lips. “No.” But she could see he didn’t believe her. She wanted to shout, How could you think I give a damn about Kevin when I’m in love with you? But then she remembered the crowd.

Oh, God, the crowd.

Why had she pushed? Her horrified gaze slid out toward the mass of people that filled the room. Already, a few groups eyed them curiously. Something inside her shrivelled up.

“Rae,” Zach said. “This thing between us—I know I came here as a favour, but when I touched you, I meant it. And I told myself you meant it, too. The truth is, I… I’m not attracted to you just because we’re friends. I have feelings for you. I’ve been making a lot of excuses to stay silent about that, to avoid demanding something you can’t give. I’ve never wanted to push you. But I can’t explain this away.” He watched her with burning, hopeful eyes, as if she might leap in and fix his confusion with just a few words. Christ, he’d just confessed to having feelings for her. This was the perfect moment to admit everything, to finally be honest with him and with herself.

But the declarations she’d practiced in the bathroom mirror were frozen on