Hold Me Close - Talia Hibbert Page 0,193

part. “What are the other reasons?”

“There’s only one other reason.”

“Which is?”

He stared. “You know, there’s this thing called a mirror. And if you looked into one, all sorts of things might become clear to you.”

“Shut up,” she snorted. “Okay. I think we have enough information to proceed.”

He raised a brow. “Proceed?”

“Let’s review.”

He raised the other brow. “Review?”

She was getting very good at ignoring him. “You have developed some sort of attachment to me. Likely because I made that fried plantain last week—”

“Hannah.”

“And because your artistic temperament makes you susceptible to physical attraction—”

“This is amazing. I can’t even tell if you’re insulting me.”

She tried not to smile. Smiling would ruin the academic approach she was determined to take. “Meanwhile, I have fallen victim to a dormant crush that should have died many years ago—”

“Wait, what?”

“But didn’t, because you left town before anything could happen to kill it off.”

“Is this your incredibly roundabout way of admitting you have a crush on me?”

“Had,” she corrected. “I had a crush on you. It’s sort of reappeared, like a virus, but once it’s dealt with, my immunity will be complete, and it will never return. At least, that’s my theory.”

He watched her for a moment. He looked even more handsome since his haircut—which should be impossible, since he’d already been the most handsome man on earth. Yet there he stood, more gorgeous than before. And maybe a little bit… sad?

When had that happened? Why was that happening? He shouldn’t look sad. She did not want him to look sad.

“Your crush on me,” he said, “is a virus.”

“That’s… how I’ve been thinking of it,” she admitted.

It was a perfectly sensible metaphor. So why did she feel slightly guilty? Hannah pushed that niggling doubt aside and ploughed on.

“I also have a theory that whatever you feel toward me is due to the novelty of having someone to cook and look after your kids—”

“Don’t,” he said, his voice oddly tight. “Don’t say that. I wish you didn’t look after the kids. I wish I didn’t need you to. If I didn’t need you, I could just… want you.”

She bit her lip, studying his face. She didn’t understand him. She’d been trying to understand him—she was usually so good at that—but she still couldn’t quite grasp… this. The way he looked at her. The way he watched her now, with something dark and heavy in his gaze.

“Listen,” he sighed. “This—today—it’s all been a bit of a fuck-up. And I’m sorry, because I shouldn’t have done any of this, and because I thought I was hiding things well, but obviously I wasn’t. You’re wrong about… about me. About this. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m your employer, and you live here, and I can’t have you.”

He sounded so depressingly hopeless, her heart squeezed in her chest. “Don’t worry,” she said. “It’ll be fine. Give it a few weeks and you’ll forget this ever happened.”

He pulled away, freeing her from the cage of his arms, stepping back with a frown. “Forget what ever happened? Today? Or the fact that I want you at all?”

Without Nate surrounding her, Hannah felt suddenly unmoored. She shook her head against the sensation, and against his words. “You don’t want me. I’m just around. It happens to the best of us.”

He did not look pleased. He didn’t even look reassured, or relieved, which was what she’d been hoping for.

In fact, all of a sudden, he looked thunderous. “You’re just around? That’s what you think this is? Are you fucking serious?”

Oh, she wished he wasn’t shirtless right now. “There’s really no need to get upset—”

“I’m not upset, Hannah. I’m pissed.”

She blinked. “Why?”

“Why? Why? Because I am not this kind of guy! I don’t lust after women who work for me! I don’t spend hours thinking about women I can’t have and shouldn’t want. I don’t take advantage of people—I don’t even think about it. But I can’t stop thinking of you. And dreaming of you, and wishing I could touch you, and trying to make you smile—and you want to tell me it’ll blow over? Do you know how many times in the last few years I’ve wished I could want someone like this? I didn’t think I could! And now it’s you, and I shouldn’t, and I— fuck!” He broke off with a low growl, dragging his hands through his hair as he turned away.

Hannah watched him, her brain so full of wild and reckless thoughts, it suddenly felt too big for her skull. As if