The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot - Alice Winters Page 0,115
just one question,” Leland tells the woman.
“Of course.”
“Can I bring my guns and can the backdrop be a fence wall or do you think that’d be too much?”
“You are not bringing that fence here,” I say—no! Threaten. “Didn’t you already rebury it with concrete?”
“Yep. You sure figured that out when you tried running it down with the lawnmower.”
It wasn’t one of my finer moments and I felt like I had whiplash for a week. It only resulted in Leland reinforcing the satanic thing. There’s a part of my brain that understands how much Leland loves it and how much I want to keep him happy. But every time he tells the fence story to someone or I see the fence, I’m overcome with this unreasonable desire to just destroy it. Tear it down and rip it apart. But then he smiles because he loves it so much and I give in.
The woman just smiles, clearly pretending that Leland never asked anything, and continues on with the tour. “If you don’t have any other questions, I’m going to leave you guys alone for a bit to just walk around and see what you think. I know how important it is to make sure the location is perfect for your big day.”
She wanders off and starts pointing out the types of fish to Mila as Leland turns to me. “I really, really like it, but I also understand if it’s not enough. And if you want something grand such as elephants or whatever, I’d be more than happy to get it for you.”
I’m so glad that Leland likes it because I do too, but I was more than willing to go anywhere for him. “No, I think it’s perfect. I was having nightmares about the elephants and guns, remember? Not dreams.”
He grins at me. “Anything you want, you get.”
“I want to burn the fence.”
“Anything else you want, you get. I have a grand honeymoon planned.”
“Should we have discussed this honeymoon first?” I ask warily.
“Nah, I promise you’ll love it. I really wanted to surprise you! And if you don’t like it, we’ll just have another honeymoon. But I know you’ll love it. So… are we doing this? Are we booking this?” he asks, clearly excited.
I nod as I wrap an arm around his waist and pull him in to give him a kiss. “I think we are. Let’s do it quickly before someone else decides they want us dead.”
Leland grins and I honestly wish it were a joke. “Besides Ava?”
“I’m a little worried that the honeymoon will just be you forcing my family and friends to do a battle royale for some money or something.”
He suddenly stops walking and I bump into him. “Fuck. That’s such a better idea. I’m going to cancel our flight.”
“Nope!” I say, then quickly think of something to distract him. “We haven’t really talked about names. Do you want my last name? Do you want me to have your last name? Do you want us to keep our own last names? Hyphenate them? Get whole new ones?” I don’t know why I was a bit hesitant to bring it up. I guess because I don’t want him to feel like he’s pressured into taking my last name if he doesn’t want it.
Leland smiles at me. “I’ll take your last name. I have no connection to mine at all. It’s my father’s last name, but what did he or my family ever give me with that name? There’s nothing to it or my family that I want to keep. I’d love to take yours as long as it doesn’t mean Ava has more control over me or something.”
I grin. “Once you agree to take it, it’s too late to back out. You’re pulled into the Stein family tradition.”
“Yay?” He seems uncertain.
“Leland Stein. I love it.”
His entire face lights up when I say his name. “Me too,” he says as we head over to the lady to finalize things before he can end up inquiring about a location for his battle.
When we’re finished, we head out to the car where Mila hops into the back seat.
“Are you ready?” I ask her.
She shrugs, looking a bit timid. “Can I just stay with you guys?”
“I wish, but you have to be with a family member. But we’re going to still be here for you,” I assure her.
“I have many more moves to show you. And I promise that I already vetted him,” Leland says.