in coffins with about a half-dozen lesser vamps curled around their coffins like sleeping puppies; okay, sleeping dead puppies, but still the visual was clear. The vampires in the coffins were important; the ones on the floor were not.
The two lions wanted to know why we didn't just kill the others' masters immediately. "Because if all three don't die together instantaneously, the one left could kill our people before we could finish killing their master."
So I picked three of the lesser vamps from the floor and had the three Harlequin practice simultaneous head chopping. It's harder than it sounds to decapitate a body, and trying to get three people to do it in unison sounded almost impossible, even if they were the great and fabulous Harlequin.
I let them pick the angle they wanted for the bodies, while Lisandro stayed in the hallway and tried to negotiate with Marius and the others on the stairs. I counted down for the beheadings. "One," and a finger out, "two," another finger, "three," and as I sliced down on three, the three Harlequin were supposed to decapitate the vampires.
They got settled over the sleeping vampires. I counted, motioned, and their swords were a shiny blur. Two heads came off and rolled away from the bodies. The third head took a second blow. I stared at Thaddeus, who had needed two blows.
"The angle wasn't perfect," he said.
The male lion managed to express with body language alone that they had both managed to do it just fine. I said, "I'm with him, you had all the time in the world to set up your angle. Let's pick three more and take one more practice."
I'd half expected them to protest just slaughtering the vampires, but they didn't. Either they were used to following orders without question or they weren't particularly fond of any of the vampires here. Either way, we had three more dead-to-the-world vampires lined up pretty quickly. It was also three fewer vamps for Mommie Darkest to possess once the sun went down; it was a win-win.
Lisandro called out, "Anita!"
I went for the door at a jog. I prayed that there wouldn't be any more body parts at the bottom of the stairs. I wasn't that close to Bernardo, but I liked him and I didn't want to think of him having to go through life missing bits because I hadn't figured this out in time. Yes, I know it wasn't my fault, but somehow it felt like it was.
Lisandro said, "They're going to send Bernardo's hand down next if we don't give up our weapons."
"Shit," I said, "we're not ready."
"Where is Anita?" Marius asked.
I yelled, "I'm right here, you son of a bitch." How did I keep him from chopping things off Bernardo that wouldn't grow back? Then I had another very bad, very good idea. "Get one of the heads we cut off and bring it back ASAP," I said.
Lisandro didn't argue, just ran back to the room I'd just left. I tried to reason, or at least delay them hurting Bernardo. "Why so fucking impatient, Marius? You're blocking the only exit."
"You are human," the woman yelled, "you should be honored that the Mother even wants you."
"When she can possess your body and walk around in it, we'll talk," I said.
Lisandro was back with a head in one hand and his gun in the other; with his shoulder-length hair flying out behind him, it was very modern barbarian.
I heard sounds of struggling. Was it Bernardo? "I have a present for you!" I yelled. To Lisandro I said, "Do it."
He threw the head in a graceful arc to land at the bottom of the stairs. It was perfect placement, which with a basketball wouldn't have been that impressive, but with a human head - impressive. I'd have never gotten it to land like that.
"What is that?" the woman asked.
"One of your little vampires," I said. "You send more body parts our way, we send you more heads."
"We could send you a head, too," she yelled.
"You have only two hostages; we have a dozen, and three of them are your masters, which means if they die, you die."
"Thaddeus," Marius yelled, "you wouldn't dare."
"Thaddeus isn't in charge of these negotiations; I am, and I so fucking would."
There was silence on their end, while they conferred. If we really planned on negotiating our way out of here, we'd need to do it before the vampires rose for the night. That was going to be soon. I couldn't