His Marriage to Remember - By Kathie DeNosky Page 0,17

all she could ever want or need. Wasn’t that what a husband was supposed to do? What more did she want from him?

He missed how things had been when they first got married, the time they spent together, just as much as she did, but it couldn’t be helped. He had tried telling her time and again that everything he did, every minute he spent out on the rodeo circuit, was for her and the family they were hoping to have. Why couldn’t she see that?

A sudden throbbing at his temple caused him to squeeze his eyelids shut and steady himself against the tiled wall of the shower. The image of Bria, tears running down her cheeks, appeared behind his closed eyes.

“I needed my husband with me when I lost the baby, Sam,” she said, her voice filled with anguish. “I needed you to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be all right. But you weren’t here. You’re never here. You’re always out on the road somewhere and I’m here alone.”

Sam opened his eyes and felt as if he had taken a sucker punch to the gut. The snippet of memory was brief, but he knew as surely as he knew his own name that it was all too real. Bria had been pregnant and suffered a miscarriage.

His chest tightened and he had to stop for a minute to take a big gulp of air as a keen sense of loss for the baby they had both wanted so much coursed through him. He had fathered a child and no matter that it had been lost early in the pregnancy, he had cared deeply for the tiny life created from his and Bria’s love for each other.

Sam tried desperately to remember what had happened, why she had lost the baby and exactly where he had been. But the more he tried to force himself to recall what had taken place, the more frustrated he became. For the life of him he couldn’t remember when Bria had become pregnant or how far along she had been. Had it only been a few weeks ago or had she been pregnant when she bought the early home-pregnancy test?

He took a deep breath. It came as no surprise that he had been out on the road somewhere with the rodeo company when it happened. That was what he did, how he made their living. He thought she understood that.

As he continued to think about it, a heavy yoke of guilt settled across his shoulders, as well as the accompanying shame. He hadn’t returned home right away and that was something he didn’t think he could ever forgive himself for doing. His pride hadn’t allowed him to be there for her when she needed him most. But he had to wait until he was certain he could face her without allowing her to see how the loss of their child had affected him. If he hadn’t, she would have known immediately that she had married a weak, inept man who wasn’t nearly as strong as she thought he was.

Turning off the spray of warm water, he grabbed a towel and quickly dried off. As he pulled on his boxer briefs and a pair of jeans, he wondered how he was going to let her know that he had remembered their loss without causing Bria any more emotional pain than she had already been through. It was no wonder she had been on edge and not quite herself lately. His run-in with that brindle bull had only added to the upset she had already been going through trying to come to terms with the miscarriage.

Walking into the bedroom, he sat on the bench at the end of the bed and reached for his boots, but stopped short when he realized how many times in the past few days he had made references to them trying to become pregnant. He cursed himself for his faulty memory and the pain he must have put Bria through each time he mentioned it.

Could that have been the real reason she made the remark about not feeling like his wife? Did she view his comments as purposely hurtful and insensitive?

Sam shook his head as he pulled on his boots. He didn’t think that was the case. Bria was more reasonable than that. She knew he hadn’t been able to remember about the baby and wouldn’t have been so casual with his remarks about making her pregnant if