His Human (The New Neighbors #2) - M.A. Innes Page 0,30

tsking sound like I was too naïve for my own good. “I know I raised a good boy, but I don’t think you understand the depraved monsters that are out there. I—”

“Mom. I’m not meeting anyone on sex apps.” I’d been meeting guys on gay hookup apps that said they were Doms.

But that hadn’t worked out any better than her back-alley weirdos.

“Oh, you’re not dating again, are you? Everyone has dry spells. You’ll find Mr. Right. He’s out there somewhere. You just have to—”

I cut off the rambling assurances she thought would make me feel better. “Mom. Stop.”

Just once when I called, I’d like her to ask about my job or my sanity first. No, she wanted her baby married off so I could be happy. But her version of happy was very, very vanilla and a little bit boring.

“How are you doing, baby?” She sounded sweet, but I knew she’d just changed tactics. “I worry about you.”

Yep, when Bulldozer Mom didn’t work, I got Guilt Trip Mom.

“I’m doing fine. There’s nothing to worry about because work is going great and I’m doing great too.” But since that wasn’t the reason I called, I finally gave in and threw her a bone.

“I met someone, though. I was just calling to tell you about him.” I winced when she made an excited squeal that sounded like something that should’ve come out of a thirteen-year-old’s mouth.

“That’s wonderful. Tell me about your new man.” She was hitting her stride because the questions just kept coming as she fired them out at top speed. “What does he do for a living? Is he good to you? Does he appreciate all the hard work you put into your business? Does Cameron like him? Has Cameron met him? Is he—”

“Mom. If you don’t stop asking questions, I can’t answer them.” She just huffed.

“If I don’t ask, I’ll never know. You’re so secretive now that you’re grown. Why, I remember when you were little and you shared everything with me. Now—”

Nope, we weren’t going into psycho I wiped your butt mode.

“Mom, his name is Maverick and he’s got a few jobs. He’s super smart and he’s really sweet.” Breathing was going to be the death of me. As I paused, she charged in again.

“What kind of name is Maverick? Is he in a biker gang? What is his given name? You can learn a lot about a man by the name he gives himself. Wait. He didn’t name his penis that, did he? I can’t call him Maverick if that’s what he’s calling his penis.”

Some days I questioned her sanity.

Some days I questioned mine for not having her committed.

“Mom. Stop. No one does that. You’ve been watching too much weird TV again.” Okay, I’d known one guy who’d named his junk, but I just couldn’t take a guy seriously when he was Big Chuck and he called his dick Bigger Chuck.

Especially when Bigger Chuck should have been called Little Dick.

But I wasn’t going to tell my mother that—there was no point in encouraging her insanity.

“He’s not human. He picked his name and he’s a bit of a rebel. He was a pilot before, and you know how military guys are.” Back in the day, Mom had a thing for military guys, so I wasn’t surprised when she sighed.

“Oh, he’s Air Force?”

Kind of.

“Not anymore. Here he mainly does consulting work for companies to make things like cars safer.” She wouldn’t understand his pride in the taxi stuff, so I was going to explain that another time.

“Oh, he’s smart.” She said that in the same tone she might have said he was a doctor.

“Yep, and he’s a nice guy.” I wasn’t sure how to explain Maverick in vanilla terms.

He was kind of unique.

“I’ve heard that they’re very family oriented.” She was beyond excited now. “Milly from down the street…you remember her…her granddaughter is in a relationship with a nice young man from outer space. He’s very polite from what Milly says and is so attentive to her granddaughter.”

“The blonde one?” I hadn’t realized she was kinky, but it explained a few things about that family. “And Mom, I’m pretty sure no one calls them nice young men from outer space.”

That just sounded like she was dating a Martian instead of a guy who probably worked at the grocery store or designed new helicopters…or possibly both at the same time.

“Well, that doesn’t matter. He’s nice and so attentive. I met them when they were over last week for lunch. He