Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,76

made me cum for the first time ever without the need of that fantasy.” I swallow thickly, feeling like I can’t breathe, hoping like hell I can hold it together.

Sandra places the notepad on her lap, her expression brightening, not realizing how I’m about to fall apart. “Why, that’s wonderful news, Dahlia.” She shakes her head. “That must have been really gratifying, and reassuring. Did that finally give you hope for yourself?’

I close my eyes, feeling a sharp pain pierce my chest, and nod. “It did... for a very short time. And even then, I doubted it. I thought it was a fluke. But then…” I suck in a breath that feels like it’s filled with little daggers.

Sandra peers at me intently. “But then?”

I exhale sharply. “Lucian wasn’t able to climax when he was being rough with me, which is how I want him to be with me and it totally,” I gulp, “killed what little confidence I had in our relationship. In that moment, I felt like he was disgusted by me.”

Sandra’s face morphs into a frown. “I’m so sorry, Dahlia.” She puts her glasses back on and scribbles in her notepad as she asks, “Did he say why he wasn’t able?”

I shake my head no as I answer, “We had sex again, right after that… when he could see I was upset.”

“And how did that go?” she asks.

I lean my head back against the sofa and stare at the ceiling. He made love to me, he came and I didn’t. Because I’m fucked up and broken. “Not good. He came, but he wasn’t rough and so I didn’t.” My head falls forward and I wait for the doctor’s judgment. I just want a solution. I want to be normal.

I’m trying my best not to cry, because I know if I do, this session is over. I won’t be able to recover.

“I’m broken,” I say just beneath my breath. I could feel something so strong between us, something I’ve never felt before. But I couldn’t give it back to him. I couldn’t make love to him. It’s so fucked up. It just hurts.

Sandra shakes her head. “No you’re not. The progress you made shows that you can recover from this. You will recover from this.” She gestures at me, her words firm and commanding. “You are a beautiful, talented young woman who’s had horrible things happen to her… but that doesn’t mean you can’t recover, that you can’t go on to live a fulfilling normal life.” Slightly leaning forward, Sandra’s words gain passion as she speaks, so much so that I momentarily forget my pain and focus on her face. After letting her words sink in, she relaxes back into her seat and picks up her notepad. “Now tell me, what’s good about your relationship outside of the Submissive and Dom roles?”

“Oh,” I say, crossing my arms around my torso and clutching myself. I feel so chilly even though it must be seventy-five degrees in this office. “It’s… it’s really good at times, although it’s new and I feel like it’s going so fast. He’s quiet a lot and it takes some time for him to open up.” Sandra nods her head, jotting down notes as I talk.

“He treats me… like… like I mean a lot to him.” I finally look her in the eyes. “I know he wants to make me happy.”

“And does he?” she asks me.

“Yeah,” I say and nod my head. He makes me so happy. “It’s so much more than…” my voice trails off. The pain is back again.

“Is it not a relationship beyond the Dominant and Submissive roles?” Sandra presses gently.

“I don’t know what to think of it all. I’m confused about where we stand in our relationship. This was supposed to be an…” I fumble for words, not wanting to tell her about the auction. “A temporary arrangement, not something that would turn into anything longlasting. And after that last session…” I shake my head as a surge of emotion chokes my speech. “I don’t think we'll ever be able to get past my issues, so all the other aspects don’t even matter.”

“I disagree with you saying those things don’t matter,” Sandra says tenderly. “They do matter. If Lucian treats you as good as you say outside the bedroom, and the only problem you’re having is the hang-up on your past, I think there’s hope here and something you can definitely work with. The question is--is Lucian the man that can do it...