Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,54

pauses and takes a deep breath, then lets out an explosive sigh. “And there’s something else, too.”

My heart jumps in my chest. Maybe he’s about to reveal something. “What’s that?”

“I was going through a divorce at the same time,” he forces out.

I raise my eyebrows, surprised he would bring this up, but I’m hopeful that I’ll find out what caused it and maybe find out what kind of man Lucian is.

Lucian nods, his eyes burning with anger and a hint of sadness. “It wasn’t pleasant.”

I lean forward slightly. “Did it have anything to do with…” I trail off, but I know he gets my meaning, though I feel like I’m once again walking on the edge by prying where I shouldn’t. Yet, I can’t help myself.

Lucian is quiet for a moment, digesting my question. Finally, he shakes his head. “No. My ex was into the same lifestyle, actually. We both enjoyed it.” He huffs out a dry, humorless chuckle. “She craved the money more.”

Damn. Why do I keep bringing these things up? “I don’t know what to say,” I say slowly.

“There’s nothing for you to say,” Lucian says dismissively. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“Well, I feel awful for even having brought it up. Sorry I asked.”

Lucian waves my apology away again. “What's done is done.” He looks at me, his eyes assessing me in a way that makes me feel fuzzy inside. “I’d rather focus on the here and now.”

Unable to take his gaze, a blush comes to my cheeks and I lower my head.

“Look at me,” Lucian commands.

I raise my eyes, my cheeks burning all the hotter. “Sir?” Crap. Why do I keep doing that?

“Lucian,” he says firmly.

“Lucian,” I repeat.

Fingering his wine glass, Lucian studies me, a slight smile on his lips and my skin pricks at the emotion that grips my chest. I recognize the feeling and it makes me nervous. Lucian said this was all for show, but why do I keep feeling like it’s something more?

I need to just focus on the sex, I repeat to myself, because that’s all this is. For thirty days.

“Would you like to go for a walk after dinner?” Lucian asks, his beautiful eyes still focused on me. “There’s a cobblestone trail that leads to a bridge overlooking the water. On a night like this, I’m sure you’ll love it.” He pauses a moment, glancing at my blouse before adding, “I’ll have a coat brought for you.”

I pause, thinking, No, what I want you to do is take me back to your place and make me beg for that big fat cock, but I only feel more confused. I’m not sure what’s to gain from taking a walk as a couple, if it’s not supposed to be real. I thought he just wanted to show me off in public and then whisk me back away into privacy.

I part my lips, feeling an urge to decline. I’m already having trouble separating my sexual energy from my emotions and Lucian is sending me mixed signals, making it worse. But at the same time, I’m scared of angering him. He’s a man that won’t be denied, and I still feel like I’m his Sub, even out in public. “Yes,” I reply dutifully, flashing a weak smile, my cheeks turning red yet again. “I would love that.”

I don’t miss the satisfaction that flashes in Lucian’s eyes. “Good.”

We continue eating our meal, our conversation turning to lighter things, and despite my nervousness, I find myself relaxing. Lucian’s charm makes me feel at ease and he’s showing a tender side of himself that I didn’t think he possessed. Several times throughout the meal, I have to go back to reminding myself that he’s just doing this for show and that he doesn’t care one way or another about me, except for being his paid sex toy.

Still, I’m so charmed by his behavior, I find myself wondering if it would be better to just tell him the truth. Outside of the playroom, he seems like such a nice guy, and I feel guilty about lying even more now after hearing the story about his ex. Maybe disclosing the truth would improve my experience as his Sub instead of negatively impacting it.

If only I had the courage to find out.

Seeing my distressed expression, Lucian asks, “Something you want to tell me?”

Anxiety crushes my stomach as I look into Lucian’s eyes. He’s been so gracious to me tonight, even if it wasn’t real, revealing things that he didn’t have to