Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,277

His voice is full of conviction. “Don’t you remember how freeing it is? Why are you hurting yourself?”

After a moment, he takes a step back and stands up straight. “This has been coming for a long time now.” His words are terrible. Not because they're angry, but because they’re so quiet and fill me with overwhelming anxiety.

“What do you mean-”

Danny walks forward and unbuckles the thick leather collar from around my neck.

“Danny, what are you doing?” I cry in panic. I reach up to try to stop him, but he swats my hand away as easily as one would swat a fly, and pulls the collar free from my neck, leaving cold air to replace its warmth. He steps back with it clenched tightly in his hand, scowling at me with a coldness I’ve never seen from him before. Unconsciously my hands fly to my neck. It feels so strange, running my fingers along the bare skin there. It feels... empty. Like he’s abandoning me.

“I told you so long as you didn’t give up on yourself, I wouldn’t give up on you.” His words are carried with pain. He’s given up on me.

My heart feels like it’s been pierced by a jagged spear.

His next words turn my blood to ice. “You’re going up for auction.”

My jaw goes slack as what he says registers, my heart skipping several beats as I’m shocked into silence.

“You need to learn to trust me,” Danny says. “And I think handing you over to another Master is the best thing for you right now.”

I stare at him in disbelief, hardly believing what he’s saying.

“I want you to know what it’s like to miss me,” he says. “To realize how good you had it.”

But it’s been so bad, I want to tell him, so bad that I want to leave you.

For weeks I’ve thought about ending this, but the fear of losing him and having no one that truly knows me kept me from doing it. To me, being with someone who doesn’t know my history is terrifying.

“You can come back to me after you’ve learned your lesson,” Danny says. “Maybe then you’ll truly appreciate me.”

“Danny-” I try to say.

He waves me silent. “I’m done. Prepare yourself for your auction.”

With that said, he walks out, closing the door behind him.

I sit there on the floor, my skin prickling as a torrent of emotions goes through me. Anxiety. Anger. Sadness.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so used to leaning on Danny for support to conquer my demons that I don’t know if I can survive without him.

Chapter 5

Zander

The chill of the wind whips across my face, the hairs on the back of my neck standing to attention. The thick wool overcoat I have on shields everything but my neck and cheeks. I don’t move to cover them though. The crisp morning air seems fitting as I stare down at my mother’s gravesite. I was only ten when she died. I wonder what kind of man I’d be if she’d never left.

My heart beats slower as another gust of wind comes, harsher this time. Again, I don’t move. I stand still, my hands shoved into my coat pockets.

I have her tombstone memorized, but my eyes still flicker over the engraved message.

Marie Payne

1958 - 1994

Loving wife, doting mother.

She will be missed.

I do miss her, as odd as it may be. I hardly knew her, but I miss what could have been. She’s the one who taught me to smile behind the pain. She never stopped, until the last few weeks of her life. It all crumbled around her, the affair that tore them apart. People were always watching. Always judging. It was too much for her.

I clear my throat as I straighten my stance and take in a deep breath. When I come here, the smile that’s perpetually on my face is nowhere to be found. I can’t do it; I can’t bring myself to smile when I’m around her.

Maybe that’s why I come here so much.

I don’t know much about her, if I’m honest with myself. There’s plenty online, so I suppose I know as much about her as a stranger would who wanted to look her up. She had no family but us. She married into wealth and gave the Payne heir a baby boy. And then she had miscarriage after miscarriage.

Her name means misery. Marie. I remember she told me that once, and I didn’t understand what she meant at the time. It’s the Latin meaning.