Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,270

arms and nods her head, and her large brown eyes widen as she steps forward and smudges a small spot on her canvas with her finger. The smile only fades for a moment until she’s satisfied with the adjustment.

She lets out an easy sigh and her eyes sparkle as she meets my stare. I force a small smile back but avoid her gaze as I take in my own canvas. I’ve been in a cruddy mood all day. I was hoping painting would cheer me up. But so far, all I’ve done is paint a weeping willow that’s truly crying because of how damn dark the picture is. A frown mars my face as I realize there’s no fixing this.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

“Pulsators, huh?” I ask halfheartedly. “That’s a new one.” I shake my head as I set my brush down into the cup, dismayed with my lack of progress.

I pull my hair over my shoulder and twirl the ends as she continues, “Yeah. It’s a little ball that goes into your cooch and vibrates.” I stare at Natalie, slowly processing what she’s saying. Thank fuck I have her as my roommate, sharing a two-bedroom apartment together in the middle of downtown. We split the rent to make costs bearable. But more than that, she’s been my friend for years. Even through the darker times when I pushed her away. We picked up everything right where we left off when we reconnected.

Right now, I just don’t give a shit about whatever sex toy party she went to last night.

I clear my throat trying to muster an ounce of her excitement as I say, “That sounds… fun.”

Natalie pouts, her eyes dimming with concern. “What’s wrong, Ari? Considering the stuff you’re into,” she says, eyeing me curiously, “I thought something like that would be right up your alley.”

I feel like shit, but I just want to be alone. “I feel off. I’m just tired.” I swirl the brush in the dirty cup to get some of the paint off the bristles. I speak without looking up, staring at the murky water, “I think I need some sun or something.” I didn’t expect her to come in here and join me, but I wasn’t going to tell her no. Natalie’s frown deepens and then she looks past me toward my bedroom door. “I’m sorry I’m being such a downer, Nat,” I say, flashing her a weak smile. “I just feel like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something.”

Nat stares at me for a long moment, chewing on the inside of her cheek before finally saying, “I’m a little worried about you, Ari.” Her voice is delicate and cautious, but she doesn’t need to be. I’m okay. I’m not where I was before.

I wave off her concern. “Don’t be. I’m good.” I nod at my canvas. “Just let me finish this up.” I stare at the painting for a minute before pursing my lips. I should probably just trash it or paint the whole damn thing white and start over.

Nat gazes at me with suspicion. “You sure?”

I nod, picking my paintbrush back up and pressing the bristles against the side of the cup to get rid of most of the water. “Yeah. Tell me more about the party,” I say, trying to change the subject back to her preference: sex. “It sounds like it was a lot of fun.”

Nat nods, but her enthusiasm from earlier is dimmed, which makes me feel like shit. I hate spreading negativity.

I avoid her gaze entirely, shoving up my sleeves to add a bit of white paint to the background of the canvas. “It was. There’s a bonus right now-” Nat pauses, and reaches out for my arm, her fingers wrapping just below my elbow. Her grip is so strong she nearly pulls me backward. “What the hell happened to your arm?” Although it’s a question, there’s an accusation underlying her words as she stares at my arm in horror.

Shit. I pull away from her grasp, clenching my teeth and feeling a bit irritated. A bit ashamed. My heart is still lodged in my throat and I can’t respond for a moment. I'm feeling her judgment.

I part my lips to reply, to make up some lie, some defense, but then close them. Nat’s seen the bruises before. This is nothing new. She knows where they come from, and she knows that they’re there with my consent. That it’s just a kink.

I