Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,250

stay with me.

Chapter 25

Lilly

I take a deep breath, my fingers trailing over the high quality leather of Joseph’s journal. I’m part way through reading it. I don’t know if I’m ready today for more of the bad things that I know I’ll find out while reading it, but I’m going to go through it anyways. I want to see what happened in his life. It makes me feel that much more connected to him.

A ray of sunshine hits the golden latch of the journal, reflecting a flash into my eyes.

I’m curled up in Joseph’s sunroom, reclined in a white, plush fabric recliner, soaking in the warmth of the sun. The view from here is gorgeous. The sky is a clear, azure blue, and the ground is covered with a thick layer of white snow that reflects the sunlight, filling the room with brightness.

It is lifting my mood. I’m already feeling better these past few days with the new rules Joseph has set for us. I like the idea he had about playing scenes. And I love that he’s opening up to me bit by bit. He’s adding details and writing notes to benefit my understanding of what happened. He won’t talk to me about it though; the journal is all I get. He won’t even be in the same room when I read it. Even now, he’s in the kitchen because he knows I’m reading it.

I open the journal to the last passage I stopped on and pick up where I left off. It doesn’t take long before I’m deeply engrossed in his story. Now that I know how the story ends, everything he’s written is so clear. But when I reach a passage that’s so heartbreaking, about his mother, I can’t keep the tears from falling for my eyes.

“This is hard,” I say thickly, wiping the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand.

I have to close the book. I can’t read anymore right now. I just can’t believe all the things that Joseph has gone through. I feel absolutely awful for him.

I haven’t forgotten that he’s keeping me here. That I’m a prisoner. But I wouldn’t leave if he told me to. If he commanded me. I’d refuse.

As soon as I see him, I’m going to crawl in his lap and kiss him and try to give him all the comfort that I’m capable of giving. I know he doesn’t like to be held and he doesn’t like sympathy, but I need it as much as he does.

But for now, I’ll keep playing our game and pretend like I don’t know that he’s avoiding me because I’m reading the journal. He’ll pretend he doesn’t know that it kills me to see what he’s been through. I don’t mind playing this game, because it only makes me closer to him.

I push the journal onto the ottoman and grab my laptop, wiping under my eyes and my nose as I move.

I need to relieve some serious stress. I sniffle again, opening up the laptop as I sag in the seat. Right fucking now. And there’s nothing that helps me to relieve it more than writing. It’s always been my therapy for when my emotions are heightened or I’m feeling down. It’s the perfect way to release my emotions. Joseph needs something like that. I told him that.

And he told me that’s what I am to him. My heart hurts remembering his words.

I open on my laptop screen, my mind overflowing with ideas to use for the story. It should be easy. I have so much material to work with. So many emotions to play off of.

I’m about to turn over to the Word document screen, when a email notification pops up on my screen.

From: Aida White

To: Lilly Wade

Subject: MY BABY IS GONE

Lilly

My hands are shaking as I type these words. I don’t know who to talk to, but I need to talk to someone. I haven’t stopped crying since this morning. My baby is gone. I can’t believe it. How I wish I would have turned my life around sooner. If only he would’ve waited just a little while longer and mommy would have been there for him. I feel like such a worthless piece of shit. I bet that’s what you think of me. And you’re not wrong.

The police called me this morning to tell me that Zach got into a fight. He was stabbed to death. He died this morning.

I know you were someone that was